Chapter 30: Twisted

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Chapter 30: Twisted

It was sure a stupid thing to do. But if feels like the right thing. They say stupidity is contiguous. And I might drag Gin down into this senseless downfall. Pero noong mga oras na yon, wala na kaming pakialam.

His closeness was overwhelming, too intoxicating for my own good. I can hear him moaning and that didn't help me one bit. Nakasandal ako sa pader and his towering over me.

"Gin." I tried to say. Tinulak ko siya ng bahagya habang hinalikan parin ako. "Someone's coming."

"Ignore it." he groaned pero naramdaman kong huminto siya.

"Don't be stupid."

Naramdaman ko ang paglalakad nito pababa sa stairs papunta sa training room. Agad akong tumayo ng maaayos at inayos ang damit ko. Napailing ako. Halos hindi ko napansin na nakalislis na ito paitaas.

I can feel Gin smiling, his warm lips still pressed on my skin. There is something about this skin to skin contact that made me lose any rationality left in my already clouded mind. It's seems that all this situation created an electrical bond between me and Gin that can only be diffused by close contact.

"Umayos ka na. My God, Gin." asik ko. Pero napapangiti ako sa reaction niya. He seems drunk. The good kind of one. Drunk from everything that happened. From recklessness turned into this.

"What can't you admit it, Shia?"

"Admit what?" Pinilit ko siyang muling itulak. Palapit na nang palapit ang yapak na naririnig ko.

"That you feel the same way."

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Napalunok ako at umiwas ng tingin. In the back of my mind, nandoon si Lucas, nakangiti sa akin. But in front of me, here's Gin. Smiling or more like grinning. His hair unruly because of my fingers running through them endlessly, his breathing ragged and deep.

They are different, yet all the same. I would do everything for Lucas. And I might do everything for Gin as well. But we are on a different situation, a different stage. I wouldn't trade the times I had with Lucas for anything.

But the short times I had with Gin— the chaos, the fights, the sacrifices— everything dug deep within me. Ni hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakita niya sa akin. I don't know how to fight for something like this. Especially when I know sooner or later everything may fall apart.

"What if I am, Gin?" I asked in an almost whisper. "Hindi ka ba natatakot kung saan papunta ito?"

"You're afraid of something you want because you're already thinking the ways you can lose it."

"Dahil madaming paraan para mawala ang lahat ng ito, Gin. And I wouldn't want that kind of hell."

Tumayo ng maayos si Gin para tingnan ako ng derecho sa mga mata. "Then I would gladly walk by your side through the abyss of hell, Shia." he said. "Because you will never lose me."

--

I was so damn thankful na nagawa naming mag ayos ng mga sarili namin nang dumating si Miss Aura sa loob ng training room. Nagtataka na pinagmasdan niya kaming dalawa ni Gin, asking in a silent query kung ano ang ginagawa ko sa lugar na yon.

Sinabi ko na may tinanong lang ako kay Captain. Which is not that deep of a lie. Totoong nandoon ako para may itanong. But one thing happen to the next at wala akong naging control doon.

Sinabi ni Miss Aura na pinapatawag sa Headmaster's Office si Gin. Napansin kong natigilan si Gin nang marinig yon. Napatingin siya sa akin bago nagpaalam kay Miss Aura. Nang makalabas na siya, nanatili parin kami sa loob.

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