Redemption

NOT UNLESS YOU TELL ME TO

The hot water running over my body unraveled the tension in my muscles. Still, uneasiness laced my body. Carter is waiting in his room for me to finish, but I don't want to say to him tonight if he brings up what happened earlier. Neither of us went back downstairs after our fight in the hallway, but Joey announced that she and Fletcher were planning on being out late.

When I broke the news to Joey, I watched betrayal steal the shock on Carter's face. The walls I've spent breaking down went up, and he looked at me like I'd broken my promise. I said I'd stay as long as he never gave me a reason to go, and now all of that has changed. He's entering the NFL draft, and I'm potentially moving to New York City.

We've been tiptoeing around each other since the football game. After he grabbed me, things have been different. He stopped coming home after classes, and we didn't speak much beyond what happened in the hallway. Now I didn't know what to expect or how the night would unfold. I stayed in the shower until the water got cold, and I had no choice but to stop avoiding the man I was in love with.

I wrapped a towel around my body and stepped out of the bathroom. Just as I turned to walk toward my room, I heard someone suck in a deep breath.

I flipped around to find Carter standing at me with shock and fury.

"Your dad did that to you?"

My body trembled from the realization that he saw my scars, and I couldn't run away. I can only stand there, hoping I'm wrong.

"What?"

"Your back – "

My eyes squeezed shut. "Not right now. Please."

"Talk to me," he advanced toward me. "What happened?"

My tears fell as his hands cupped my cheeks. "I can't."

"I'm not gonna judge you, Sawyer."

"I know but I'm trying to forget everything that happened."

He rested his forehead against mine. "It doesn't work that way, baby."

As his hand fell to mine and he laced our fingers, he led us back toward his room, and I knew I wasn't escaping this conversation.

"I don't want to give details."

He backed us against his bed. "You don't have to."

"After Fletcher left, it got worse, and I was so afraid I'd never make it out."

I stepped in between his legs as he sat on the edge of his mattress. "Don't be afraid. You made it. You're here."

He kissed my knuckles between each sentence. The soft and gentle reminders kept me sane – it kept me talking.

"I'm a canvas for my dad's abuse. The scars are a map of my childhood and reminders I'll never escape from. I'm afraid to show skin because people will ask questions. I don't want to be the girl who was beaten by her father. I want to be Sawyer. Just Sawyer."

I felt his lips gradually getting higher on my arm, leaving goosebumps with every kiss.

"You're more than just Sawyer to me," his eyes fluttered open, peeking through his eyelashes as he dragged his mouth across my forearm. "You're the woman I love. The woman who makes me feel happy, and the only person who's never made me feel alone."

"Don't treat me differently," I pleaded. "I know I get scared sometimes when you touch me, but I'm learning, and I'm trying to be better – "

"Stop," his voice deepened. "I understand that you're learning. I love that you trust me enough to help you, but you don't need to try to be better. There's nothing wrong with you, Sawyer. Not a single thing."

"I feel like I'm difficult to love." A whimper fell from my lips.

"I haven't had any issues," his thumbs rubbed my thighs, drawing circles against the skin hidden by my towel. "I find it quite easy loving you."

I felt vulnerable standing in front of him. "I love you."

"I love you," he peered up at me. "You're safe with me, Sawyer. I promise."

I captured his face between my hands and connected our lips. The hands beneath my towel travelled to my backside, and just as his fingers dug into the skin of my backside, he tugged me onto his lap.

My body wouldn't know harm coming from Carter's hands. It'd only know love. Every part of me lit up at the feeling of his rough palms against my bare skin. With every tremble, and every deep breath, I longed for him in ways I once longed to live. And when you find someone you want as much as you want to breathe, you understand that's love.

"Sweetheart, you're freezing."

I broke away from him, finding my bare chest pressed against his hoodie. The towel slipped away, and all my scars were on display. From the spot on my ribs to the ragged pink skin on my back, he saw everything. I never felt as exposed as I do now.

"You're my undoing, Sawyer Price," he breathes heavily. "I'll spend the rest of my life worshipping every inch of your body as long as you let me."

"How?"

His eyes snapped up to mine. "How what, baby?"

"How would you worship my body?"

I watched his chest fall at a rapid pace. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. "Always."

Within seconds, my back collided with the bed, and Carter was hovering me. His hands were gliding up my bare thighs until one of them found home beside my head and the other danced along the skin of my stomach.

I looked up at him, unsure of what to expect, but when the pads of his fingers reached between my legs, I gasped.

"What do you want me to do, Sawyer?"

He kept his eyes locked on mine with his hand between my thighs. I whimpered as he skimmed against my clit.

My fingers curled around his forearm. "Don't stop, please."

"Never," he breathed against my lips. "Not until you tell me to."