Lost Voice

Brain Tumor

I wake up with Xacier next to me, his hand in mine as he slept. The room was dim which made that horrid headache of mine better. My vision is blurry but I was told it was only temporary, and that all my injuries healed while I was out for six months. 

I watch the doctor who looks almost completely like Xacier write things down on a clipboard, I can tell that he was Xacier's father even with blurry vision. He looked up and notices that I'm awake, giving me a warm smile before setting his clip board down.

"Good morning," He said softly, his thick accent coming out.

I still can't get over the fact that Xacier is fucking Russian. What a great match, a Japanese male and a Russian man. 

"Good morning..." My voice is hoarse still, but it doesn't hurt to speak as much anymore. 

He pulls up a stool next to me on the other side of the bed before nodding over at Xacier, "You know, he's been coming here every single day. I couldn't make him leave unless I had security drag him out,"

I press my lips in a thin line, I felt absolutely horrible. Goddammit, why did I have to run in front of a semi truck!?

"He looks like complete shit." I say bluntly and roll my head over to look at Xacier.

The doctor let out a laugh, "He sure does. I don't know what happened that night, but I can assure you that he blames this entire ordeal on himself."

I turn my head back over towards Xacier's father, "What? I was the one that ran in front of a semi-truck!" Oh lord, I swear if Xacier was beating himself up over this I will hit him. And I'll hit him hard.

The doctor let out a soft sigh before nodding. "Oh!" He said almost as if he remembered something, he stuck his hand out towards me and I wearily shook it. "I'm Dr. Galaxy, Xacier's father." 

"I'm Hikaru," I mumble softly before pulling my hand back.

"I've got some questions for you, if you don't mind me asking them. You can go back to sleep if you'd like." Dr. Galaxy said, getting off the stool to grab his clipboard.

"No...I've been sleeping for months so I'm perfectly fine." I mumbled, I'm seriously hoping that the questions he wanted to ask me weren't towards my relationship with Xacier because at this point I have no clue what we are. Friends or boyfriends? Or maybe we are still strangers to one another. I really don't know.

"Have you experienced any migraines in the past? And how often did they occur?" He asked me, I let out a soft sigh in relief. Thank god.

"Three or four times a week," I said and watched as he scribbled something on his clipboard.

"Have you experienced sudden nausea?" 

"Yes."

"Do you hear or see things that others can't hear? Such as voices, or random people."

I press my lips into a thin line, "What do you mean by voices?" I ask.

Dr. Galaxy looks up at me, "Voices that no one else can hear, voices that could cause emotionally hurt you, lead you to do decisions you usually wouldn't do, and possibly make you think suicidal thoughts. It could be one or many voices, it all depends on the patient,"

I nod my head in affirmative. I don't know where this conversation is going and I already don't like it. I don't know if they found something wrong with me. 

"Do you have problems balancing when walking or standing?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Any changes in your personality, or problems with concentrating?" 

"Concentrating maybe, but I'm sure about personality wise. I do think of something one way then I forget about what I originally thought about it and go into full panic mode." I nodded towards Xacier, "That's why I ran from him, and then I got hit by a semi-truck."

Dr. Galaxy nods and scribbles something else on his clipboard. 

"Any seizures in the past?"

I shake my head, "Is there something wrong with me?" I asked softly, I'm sure if I want to hear this or not...

Dr. Galaxy nods softly and places the clipboard in his lap, "Well, we've found a tumor in your brain. It could be life threatening but it's benign tumor. Meaning it's not cancerous, I suggest getting it removed as possible before it swells even more."

My jaw drops to the floor, I can't believe that I forgot. I have a tumor in my brain. "How...?"

"I think you've had it for quite awhile. Your migraines, the voices, lack of memory and concentration, and the nausea are all side effects of the tumor. No one is really sure how they appear but its probably because of your family line, or that you were exposed to chemicals at some point of your life."

I'm dumbfounded. I can't believe this, how come I've missed all the symptoms and not know that there was something seriously wrong with me?

"How do I...how do I treat it?" I ask softly.

"I suggest surgery, it's the best and quickest way for you. I have a neuro-oncologist that is willing to help you if you'd like to have the surgery."

I nod my head, but I'm not sure of what I want yet. I'm sure my hospital bill is already outrageous, and I don't want to declare bankruptcy so soon in my life. I'm just extremely relieved that the tumor isn't cancerous, but it's still endangering my life.

"Now, tell me. How the hell did you get so close to my son? I can't even touch his shoulder without him going tense." I hear Dr. Galaxy said and I cursed underneath my breath. I should have known that was coming!

"Well...I moved into a shitty apartment complex and we are neighbors...and I may have accidentally went one door too far every night I closed..." I say nervously as I give Xacier's father a uneasy smile right before he burst into laughter. "He scared me at first too since my other neighbors told me that he was a monster and that he would hurt me."

Dr. Galaxy wiped the tears from his eyes away as he composed himself, "A monster? Xacier?" He snickered, "If anything, that butler of ours was the monster."

Xacier's father looks over at me with a sad look on his face, "Did he tell you what happened...?"

"No. I was there."

Silence fills the room and Dr. Galaxy gives me a confused look, "You were there...?"

He scratches as his chin before looking away, only moments later does his head snap back towards me with wide eyes. "You were that 'Haru' person that he told me about, that boy from the playground right?"

"It's 'Karu' not 'Haru'," I give the old man a faint smile as he snaps his fingers.

"Dammit that kid's K's look like H's!"

I started to laugh, coughing harshly as I did so as Dr. Galaxy pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You don't know how many times he had asked me if he could go to the park. Only when he was sixteen he told me why."

"He tried going to the park? Why didn't you let him?"

"Because the boy was practically paralyzed from his neck down, it took forever to get him on his feet again. If I didn't have the money or resources I had, Xacier would still be in a wheelchair and still in this very room. This room...this room is where he spent the rest of his childhood."

My heart hitches and I look over at Xacier sadly. I didn't know this... 

"He brought you here. He ran past all the staff and ran to this room. He knew that I pretty much always work on this floor so he brought you here for me to work on you. Xacier doesn't trust any of the staff members here, other than me. I guess that's because I am his father." Dr. Galaxy laughs softly before getting up, "I have to go now, take care."

Dr. Galaxy left, leaving me with the sleeping male holding my hand.