Best Friends with Benefits

Chapter 28

Lacey's POV*

"I'll talk to you later?" I asked Tyler at the front door with James leaning against the wall outside waiting for me.

Tyler smiled at me but it didn't quite reach his eyes. I placed my fore finger and middle finger on either side of his lips and pulled them up higher, hoping he would smile just a little bit brighter. He chuckled.

I hugged him and whispered, "I'll be okay and nothing will happen," before walking off to James' direction.

I knew Tyler was still watching as we walked away. And I did something I probably shouldn't've but did anyway.

I ran back to Tyler and pecked him on the lips before proceeding to enter the door to the staircase that James was holding open for me. I used my hair to hide my blushing cheeks.

We'd been in his car on the way to iHop for about twenty minutes before he spoke first. "I thought you weren't dating him?"

"And I told you it was none of your business."

"Lacey, please. Do you really want to spend the day like this?"

"Like what exactly?" I turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Angry."

"James how do you expect me to be? You left three years ago. Without an apology, without an explanation, without even a simple text or email! I waited for all of that. I really did. But they never came. And I became angry and that's all I've ever been."

He sighed.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence.

Memories flashed through my head as we neared the restaurant. Our first date, when he accidentally snorted juice out of his nose while laughing at a joke; that time we skipped school to have lunch and stayed the rest of the day out; the time some girl tried to flirt with him right in front of me and he not-so-nicely turned her down. I laughed under my breath, remembering the last time I was here with him.

"What's so funny?" James asked as he was parking the car.

"Haven't been here in a while," I shrugged.

"When was the last time you've been here then?" He cut off the engine.

"That time you choked on your milkshake when you stuttered on asking me to me to meet your parents."

James groaned and got out of the car but I could see him laughing a little as he shook his head, coming round the front to open my door for me.

"And then-" I continued.

"Please stop," he interrupted.

Laughing now, I got out the car and we walked towards the entrance. "And I didn't tell you that you had this milkshake mustache and you were so embarrassed when some girls were laughing at you a few tables in front of us!"

"It's actually not that embarrassing come to think of it okay?" He laughed as he opened the door for me. "I was a fifteen years old and asking my first girlfriend to meet my parents. You were really evil you know that."

Our laughter died as we got directed to a table.

Low and behold, it was the table we had always sat in.

"Can we sit somewhere else?" I asked the waitress, looking around for an empty spot.

"I'm sorry but this is the only one left for two people," she smiled politely.

We sat down and looked through the menus.

A few minutes later, the same waitress came and asked if we were ready to order.

"Yeah, um, do you still like to eat only just a waffle and some bacon?" he asked me.

I got slightly irritated, "No. I'll have the ham and cheese omelet thanks. And a vanilla milkshake." Why does he remember? My heart melted that he even remembered but I hoped that he didn't. I hoped he didn't care about me, which was made him do what he did. But no, I don't have that anymore. It hurt too much because it reminded me of the betrayal. "You don't know me as well as you used to, huh?" I whispered sadly. And I knew he heard me.

"I'll have the banana crepe with Nutella," he told the waitress with a sad smile.

"Extra-" I began.

"-whipped cream," he finished.

We stared at each other for a few seconds and he gave me a small smile which i returned before looking around at the restaurant.

We had some small talk while waiting for our food, talking about how we've been, what colleges and such. We talked a little over food as well. And by the time we were about to finish, I asked, "So are we just gonna have small talk over this or what? I didn't agree to come with you to talk about the weather, James."

He sighed. "I'm sorry."

James looked into my eyes as I waited for him to say more. "If that's it, then I don't really have a reason to stay here and continue this, James. Tell me why you did it."

He sighed. "It's really stupid thinking back on it now. But someone told me that you were cheating on me with Tyler and I wanted to get back at you so bad that I wasn't thinking straight."

"Who?"

"It was anonymous," he looked at me sadly.

"Yeah, you know what? It is stupid. Why didn't you talk to me about it? Why didn't you ask me?" I was angry. He thought I had cheated without any valid proof! "You weren't thinking straight? Thats's your excuse? That's fucking ridiculous!"

"I know! I know, Lacey. But I heard it just that morning and it was our two months of being official. I was excited and I had a surprise for you and.. and it was a hard blow on me. I was so angry that I didn't think okay? And no, it's not my excuse. There's no excuse for what I did. But that is my explanation."

I was getting angrier but then I thought, he's right. He acted out of shock and anger. That's two of us (three, Tyler included) who acted out of our emotions that day.

"Is that why you came back? To explain?" I asked him softly.

"I came back because I want to start over."

What?

"Lacey..." He took my hands in his across the table and looked into my eyes. "I've never stopped thinking about you and I and what could've been. Even after all this time. Give me another chance, please."

My heart was racing. Isn't this what I've always wanted? The guy who ruined me from everyone else to come to me and ask for forgiveness, to ask for another chance? I was staring hard at the table, the food, the place, our hands... what could've happened? Is it worth a shot?

"Lacey," he whispered. I looked up at him and saw that he was looking right at me. I let myself get lost in them, just for a while. I imagined what it would be like. I imagined giving him a second chance. "I love you."

What?! He's got to be kidding me.

"James," I shook my head. "You have no right to say that to me."

"Fuck! I'm sorry. It just came out. I saw the way you were looking at me and.. and-" I stopped listening. He can't love me. He can't just come back and say that to me. Give me an explanation? Sure. Ask for a chance? Why not? But he has no right to tell me he still loves me. He doesn't even know me anymore.

He doesn't know me at all. And how he assumed that I cheated on him shows he didn't know me back then either.

There's only one person who's ever known me. One person who's ever told me he loves me and meant it. One person who's voice I hear when I think of anyone telling me they love me.

"James," I started, slowly removing my hands from his. "I'm sorry. I can't. I don't want to, and I don't feel the same way."

I left.