。⁠:゚KABANATA 2゚⁠:⁠。

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After namin mag-intramurals, chill lang ako sa bahay. Akala ko relaxing yung one-week holiday namin, pero hell week pala. From October na intramurals, November na agad, tapos new topics sa subjects namin. Then, exams pa sa December bago ang Christmas Party namin.

‎Full na schedule ko, paano ako makabalik ng maaga sa Dumaguete? Every day ko pare-pareho lang: weekends mag-study, routine ko kain, tulog, at train kasama si Knight. Sa school days, punta school, take notes, participate lang.

‎Nung December na, enjoyable pero stressful kasi exams na naman. Pero sa isang iglap, tapos na! Tapos, bukas na naman yung Christmas Party namin.

‎Ngayon I'm just watching my classmates get all hyped about the Christmas party, and suddenly nag-decide ako na mag skip the party and chill with my fam instead. My mother and older sister aren't always asking me to come home, so I figured, why not, diba?

‎So I packed my bags and nagpaalam na ako sa tita ko. Then, Knight and I boarded a flight to Dumaguete, and I felt this mix of emotions, you know? When we arrived, my ate was waiting for me at the airport, and niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit.

‎Pagdating namin sa bahay, Knight was all excited, sticking his head out of the window, and I thought "Seems like someone is more excited than me then huh" The night after my arrival naman ay nag dinner kami ng isang restaurant dito sa Dumaguete.

‎The next few days were all about spending time with my family and training Knight. I love teaching him new tricks, like "heel" and "stay." He's such a quick learner, and his big brown eyes are just so adorable. Our walks around the neighborhood were the highlight of my day.

‎On Christmas Eve, we had a quiet dinner at home, exchanging gifts. After that, I decided to unwind with a glass of wine on the porch, watching the stars. Knight was beside me, and I felt so grateful for this moment with my loved ones.

‎Christmas Day came. We attended Mass and visited relatives. Knight was a hit with the kids, and he loved all the attention even though he was uhm let's just say na he look like the devil himself even though he looks like an angel dressed like that. As the day ended, I reflected on the past year and felt grateful for what I have now experienced.

‎On New Year's Eve, we had a small gathering at home, and I poured myself a glass of wine. I watched the fireworks with Knight by my side, and as the countdown began, I felt this sense of hope and renewal.

‎The next few days flew by, and before I knew it, I had to leave Dumaguete. Three days after New Year's Day, I packed my bags and bid my mother and older sister a goodbye. As Knight and I boarded the back to Cagayan De Oro, I felt a sense of closure and new beginnings (again). I knew that Knight and I would face whatever the new year brought, I'm just trying to change myself from now on.

"New Year, New Me"

:゚゚⁠::゚゚⁠::゚゚⁠::゚゚⁠:⁠。8。⁠:゚゚⁠::゚゚⁠::゚゚⁠::゚゚⁠:

Nakaupo ako sa passenger seat ng sasakyan, nag-scroll sa phone ko habang hinihintay si tita Elise na kumuha ng take-out coffee namin. "Ay, joke lang pala, walang New Year, New Me ngayon," sabi ko sa sarili ko. Bakit nga ba? Edi imagine, yung mga tinuturing kong kaibigan pala ay mga backstabber. Nakakabadtrip lang. Pang-angel face lang yung mga Aubrey, Melanie, Riley, Nirielle, at Alex na yun sa paningin ko, pero malayo naman sa angel face ang ugali nila.

‎Nauulit na nga ako sa kanila, jusko! Bigla na lang bumukas ang car door at inabot ni tita Elise sa akin ang drink ko. "Kaz," tawag niya. "Yeah?" sagot ko. "Here's yours," sabi niya at ngumiti lang. "Thanks, tita," nakangiti rin ako.

‎Pagdating sa school, dumeritso agad ako sa classroom namin. Fresh na fresh ako mula sa coffee, pero ang school air naman ang nagpapawala ng freshness ko. Nakakabother lang talaga. Wala namang special na nangyari sa school, puro lang ako iniisip tungkol sa mga sinasabi ng mga tinuturing kong haters. Pero honestly, wala akong paki sa kanila. Out of my league sila, at kung sasabihin kong out, out talaga.

‎Normal lang ang January, may exam at mga ganyan. Some might wonder bakit exam agad, diba last month pa? Well, every month kami may monthly exam, tapos may quarterly rin.

‎Nang lumipas ang January, February na. And this month, founding anniversary ng school namin. So, lahat ng Grade 9 students, nag-join sa dance competition. Iba-iba ang dance na na-assign sa bawat section, at sa amin, Cambodian dance ang nakuha namin. Randomize kasi.

‎Ang schedule namin sa practice ay from February 3 hanggang February 27, pero after classes lang kami mag-pa-practice, 3 pm onwards. Shorten time lang naman, hindi kami mag-pe-practice ng straight. Practice lang kami ng practice, tapos February 24, may dry run kami sa church at covered court para sa preparation.

‎Kasama ko naman yung mga friends ko na silang Ysa at yung other five ko pa na friends. Nakaupo lang ako sa bench sa while yung mga kasama ko ay nagawa ng mga bracelet para sa club nila. Since first day dry run pa ngayon, so medyo maingay, masaya, at ang daming tao. Wala naman akong inaasahan-just chilling, people-watching, at enjoying the breeze.

‎Bigla na lang lumapit si Ray, my ever-so-hyper friend, na may ngiting parang may balak. Parang kinikilig pa 'to, ewan ko ba.

‎"Kaz!" tawag niya, sabay upo sa tabi ko.

‎"Yes?" sagot ko, clueless.

‎Leaning closer, he grinned. "Regards daw si Caden sayo."

‎Napakunot noo ako. "Caden? I don't know anyone named Caden."

‎Tumaas kilay niya, tapos tawa ng kaunti. "Eleventh grader siya. Volleyball player. Parang type mo, Caden Knox Veninzuolo?"

‎Nag-blink ako ng ilang beses. Volleyball player... okay, medyo gets kung paano siya naging aware sakin. Volleyball player rin kasi si Ray, so baka teammate or kakilala. "Sino naman yang Caden ano diyan?"

‎"Tara," sabay hila niya sa braso ko.

‎"Saan?" tanong ko, medyo gulat.

‎"Saan pa ba? Papakita ko siya sayo, syempre."

‎Nagpanic ako, pero pinipilit kong magmukhang chill. "Wag nga! Gago, 'wag na, nakakahiya."

‎Pero syempre, ayaw tumigil ni Ray. We kept bickering like kids, hanggang sa natapos na 'yung morning program. That's when I realized... teka, sino nga ba talaga yung sinasabi niyang Caden?

‎Pagkatapos morning program, I went straight to our classroom para mag-lunch. Wala naman sigurong problema sa pagkain sa room kasi doon naman talaga ako kumakain. After I ate lunch naman ay sunod-sunod na ang mga programa na parang practice for the final event, kasama na ang afternoon dry run. Kaya naman pag-uwi ko, talagang pagod na pagod na ako.

‎Nagpahinga muna ako ng ilang minuto bago naligo. Alam ko naman kasi na bawal maligo kapag pagod na pagod ka pa, kaya naghintay ako ng at least 30 minutes. Samantalang naghihintay, naghanda na ako ng mga damit na susuotin ko pagkatapos maligo, tulad ng pajamas at undergarments.

‎Matapos ang kalahating oras, naligo na ako at naramdaman ko agad ang ginhawa ng malamig na tubig sa aking katawan. Talagang nakakarelax! Pagkatapos kong maligo, nagbihis na ako agad sa mga damit na pinaghandaan ko, at ginawa ko rin ang aking routine sa buhok at mukha.

‎Matapos kong mag-ayos, kumain muna kami ni Knight. Nagpasya kaming hindi muna mag-training kasi talagang pagod na pagod na ako. Matapos naming kumain, hinugasan ko lahat ng mga pinagkainan namin at saka umakyat na sa kwarto ko. Doon ay nakahiga ako sa kama, nanonood ng movie at nakapag-relax nang maayos. Pero bigla-bigla naman may nag-friend request sa akin sa social media na hindi ko naman inaasahan. "Eh sino naman to?" I thought to myself kasi di ko naman yun kilala eh

Binasa ko naman yung account name pero puta, familiar naman..."Caden" I spoke out quietly "Caden Veninzuolo"

‎"Gagi, why is this so fucking familiar!" I said as I sat up, my mind racing with possibilities. I then visited his profile, and of course, I stalked for a bit, scrolling through his posts and photos. "Maybe he's the one that Ray mentioned earlier?" I thought to myself, trying to piece together the connection.

‎Bakit naman ako nang-stalk nito, di ko naman ito e-confirm, and with that, I placed back my phone sa other side ng kama, trying to shake off the feeling of curiosity. Pero hindi ko mapigilan ang utak ko na magtanong, sino ba talaga itong Caden na ito? Anong connection niya sa mundo ko?

‎Pagka-umaga naman ay same lang sa kahapon, dry run muna kasi tomorrow na yung tunay na event. Medyo kinakabahan na ako, pero try ko naman na kontrolin ang nerves ko. Kailangan ko lang mag-focus sa mga dapat gawin, at siguradong magiging smooth ang lahat.

‎Pagod na pagod na ako sa dry run namin this day, and nang marating ko dito sa bahay, nakatulog ako sa couch sa living room, hindi ko namalayan na pala ganun na pala ako katagal sa labas. Pag-gising ko naman ay dumeritso ako sa bathroom, same lang lahat ginawa ko kasi routine ko na yun. Nagliligo for about almost 39 minutes kasi ganyan ako katagal maliligo tapos pagkatapos maligo nagbihis na ako sa pajamas ko, inayos ko naman ang buhok ko gamit ng mga haircare na para sa mga curly hair tapos after nun sa mukha naman ko but I dipped my face muna sa deep container na mayroong mga ice cubes bago inaapply ko yung skincare ko.

‎As I settled into bed, my Doberman, Knight, snuggled up beside me, his gentle snores a soothing balabal to my frazzled nerves. I scratched behind his ears, feeling a sense of calm wash over me. With a contented sigh, I drifted off to sleep.

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