37 | the outcome

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37 | the outcome

It's not okay. You don't understand.

Dad takes Axel up to Will's room, having to half carry him up the stairs

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Dad takes Axel up to Will's room, having to half carry him up the stairs. I stare at the staircase, mom at the bottom, resting her hands on the banister and gazing up, waiting for Axel's sobs to quiet. I'm snuggled under Will's arm on the couch and all we can hear are Dad's murmurs now, comforting Axel, calming him down.

Mom sighs, letting her head fall against her hands.

I glance up at Will with tearstained eyes.

He shakes his head. "Avi," he whispers, "what's going on?"

Mom saunters over to us and sits beside me, combing my hair from my face. "How are you hunny? Can you tell us what happened?"

I open my mouth, but no words come out. I don't know where to start.

She kisses my forehead. "I'm sorry, baby," she apologizes. "Take your time. We shouldn't have gone anywhere. We should have tried harder."

"You didn't know," I whisper. "I didn't know." Will and Mom are both silent, waiting for something. I rub my eyes with my fists and shake my head. "He's been lying all along, guys. Remember when you asked him about Jem and the shop and why she was there?" I look at mom and she nods. "I thought he was lying! I should have said something, but I just— His parents weren't in L.A."

Mom looks over my head to Will. Will nods and glances down at me. "What was he lying about exactly?"

"His parents! His family!" I gasp. "It's so messed up. His mom is—" I shake my head, "she's not completely here. I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with her."

I start from the beginning. Friday night: Pizza delivering, Jem at the door, her mom with her blank eyes, her angry husband, Jem falling to the floor, Axel's and his dad's fight, and then him showing up last night looking half dead.

Mom holds onto my tightly and I hardly realize that I've started crying again. I burry my face in her bosom and sob. Will rubs my back and tells me everything will be okay. I shake my head over and over again. "It's not. It's not. You don't understand."

"What are we missing?" Will questions, and his voice is exasperated. I can tell he'd rather be with his friend than here with me now.

I stand up quickly when Dad appears on the stairs. "He's asleep. He'll be fine. What happened? I couldn't understand a word that boy was saying."

I lick my lips, pressing them tightly together to cage the sobs in my throat.

Dad glances past me in horror. He has never seen me this way before. I can't even remember the last time I was in so much emotional pain. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know if what Axel told me is true. I don't know how to tell them what happened. But when I open my mouth, the words drip out so easily. "He killed his father."

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