The Oculesics- Ek Kahaani Junoon Ki

4.

Content Warning:
This content contains mature themes, including explicit sexual content, abuse and emotionally intense situations. Reader discretion is advised.

It was already 9 in the morning-unusually late for them. But considering they had made love until 5 AM, Dhimahi didn't think much of it. Trayambak stirred first. As his eyes opened, he found her curled up against him, her cheek resting on his chest, her breath warm and slow.

For a fleeting moment, his fingers brushed against her forehead, and he placed a gentle kiss there.

But as he sat up, a sharp pang of guilt cut through the haze of morning tenderness. Why did I do that? he thought bitterly. I didn't marry her to love her. A surge of disgust welled inside him-not at her, but at himself.

He walked into the bathroom, turned the cold water on full blast, and let it crash against his body. He clenched his jaw, water streaming down the ridges of his muscles.

"Nahi padna mujhe in masoom aankhon ke jaal mein,"
["I must not fall for the trap of these innocent eyes,"] he muttered.
"Main bhool gaya tha yeh sirf todne ke liye hai, sambhalne ke liye nahi."
["I forgot she is meant to be broken, not nurtured."]

When he emerged, wrapped in a towel, Dhimahi was already awake. Her face lit up with a sleepy smile that unknowingly tore him apart.

"Good morning, babe," she whispered, her voice husky from last night.

He didn't respond. He couldn't. His silence felt like ice.

Still wrapped in the duvet, she sat up slowly. "Trayambak, mujhe aapse kuch baat karni hai,"
["Trayambak, I need to talk to you,"] she said carefully.

"Lekin mujhe tujhse koi baat nahi karni hai. Subah subah mera dimaag ki maa-behen mat kar,"
["But I don't want to talk to you. Don't fuck with my mind first thing in the morning,"] he snapped.

"Trayambak, please bas ek baar meri baat suniye. Aap... aap kal itne gusse mein kyun the? Aapko pata hai mujhe kitna darr lag raha tha aapne mujhe kitna hurt kiya..."
["Trayambak, please... just listen to me once. Why were you so angry last night? Do you know how scared I was... how much you hurt me?"]

"Kya shaadi mein koi kami reh gayi thi? Aapke gharwalo ne yaa doston ne kuch kaha? Mere papa se jitna ho saka utna kiya tha..."
["Was there something missing in the wedding? Did your family or friends say something? My father did everything he could..."]

CRASH.

A vase hurtled through the air and slammed against her shoulder. She shrieked in pain.

"Behenchod! Samajh nahi aata tujhe? Mujhe nahi baat karni tujhse!"
["Bitch! Don't you get it? I don't want to talk to you!"] he roared.
"Tere bhikari baap se mujhe koi problem nahi thi, kyunki maine kabhi unse ummeed hi nahi rakhi thi! Us din haath jod ke keh raha tha-'meri beti ka khayal rakhna'-uski aukaat kya hai? Uske life saving se zyada expensive to meri watch hai. Joote pe rakhta hu tum jaiso ko mai."
["I never had any expectations from your beggar father! That day, begging me to take care of his daughter-what was his worth? Even my watch has more worth than your father's lifetime's saving. I keep people like you beneath my shoes"]

Her eyes filled with horror. Her father-her pride-was being insulted like filth.

"Aapki himmat kaise hui mere papa ke baare mein bolne ki?! Agar aapko humari financial condition se problem thi toh kisi aur se shaadi kar lete! Mujhe kyun chuna? Batayein."
["How dare you speak about my father like that?! If our financial condition was a problem, you should've married someone else! Why did you choose me? Answer me."]

That was it. He couldn't digest the thought of even marrying someone else other than her. She was his primal desire, more than just a pawn in his wicked game.