Seed Between Us

Chapter Three: Colin's Commitment and Penelope's Doubts

"I'm not asking for you to promise that the world won't still be there, or that you'll never leave," she continued, her voice quiet but firm. "What I need from you, Colin, is a promise that when you're here, you'll be here. That when you're with me—when you're with us—you won't just be physically present, and then disappear again. That I won't be standing here, feeling like I'm in this alone, even when you're right there beside me. Because I can do this on my own. I know that. I've always known that. But I can't do it if I don't have you emotionally. And that's what I need from you."

The room was still, the silence heavy between them. Colin stood there, taking in her words, his expression shifting as he processed the depth of what she had said. He had always known Penelope as strong, but now he understood the strength she carried. It wasn't about just being able to raise the child; it was about the emotional weight she carried—about needing him to be fully present, to be all in, not just in body, but in heart and mind.

"I hear you," he said after a long pause, his voice quiet. "I won't pretend to know exactly how you're feeling. But what I do know is that I've never been more certain of what I want than I am now. I want to be here, Penelope. I want to be here with you, and I want to be part of this family we're creating. I won't just be here. I will stay."

Penelope's breath caught in her throat. The words she had longed to hear, but with an edge of something deeper—something more uncertain—still lingered in the air. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to trust that this wasn't another fleeting moment, another thing that would fall apart when the world called him away. But she wasn't sure she could.

Colin stepped forward, slowly, almost as though he was afraid to reach out. But he did, his hand gently cupping her cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear she hadn't realized had fallen. He looked at her with an intensity that made her heart ache.

"I'm not going anywhere, Penelope," he said softly, his voice so sincere that it almost broke her. "Not unless you tell me to leave. But I'm staying. I'm here for you. For the baby. For this life we could have together."

Penelope closed her eyes, her chest tight with the weight of his words, with the complexity of everything she felt. Her anxiety, her doubt, her fear of being abandoned again—it all mixed together, a swirling mess inside her.

But there was something else there, too. Something quieter, more hopeful. And maybe that was enough to take the next step.

"I want to believe you," she whispered, her voice barely audible, "but I can't promise you that my doubts will disappear overnight. I can't promise that I won't still be afraid, that I won't still worry about you leaving. But... I'll try. For us. For this baby. I'll try."

Colin nodded, his thumb still gently brushing against her skin. "That's all I ask, Penelope. Just try. Let's take this one step at a time, together."

For the first time, Penelope allowed herself to lean into the possibility. She didn't know what the future would bring, but for once, she was willing to let herself hope.

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The 6-Week Appointment

Penelope sat nervously in the waiting room, her leg bouncing with restless energy. The soft hum of the fluorescent lights above was the only sound filling the otherwise quiet space. The appointment she had waited for was finally here—the confirmation, the first official step into a world she still wasn't entirely sure she was ready for. At least, not in this way.

She was six weeks pregnant, and despite the fact that she had taken the test all those weeks ago, despite the knowledge that her life had irrevocably changed, it still didn't feel real. The waiting room felt like a liminal space—a world between what was and what would be. It had been weeks since she had first found out, but the reality hadn't sunk in completely. She couldn't quite shake the anxiety gnawing at the edges of her thoughts.