Redemption

I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL NIGHT FOR THIS

A candle flickered on the tv stand, giving off hints of orange blossom and pine, but variations of clove and rose. The mixture of many calmed my senses and added to the ambience of the night. I could hear the wooden wick cracking every now and again when things got quiet, but there was a storm heading this way.

My head pressed deeper into the fluffy white sectional wrapping around half of the living room, watching the curtains dance in the breeze. Joey wanted the windows open all the time. She burned sage, so it's her way of clearing out the negative energy. It's calming and renewing all at once.

Every now and again my eyes fluttered shut, but the soft laughter at the end of the couch kept me awake. I look up from the blanket on my lap to find the tattooed footballer talking to Fletcher, and suddenly there are more important things to worry about than rest. Those things are Carter and finally seeing my brother happy.

Joey's hand is captured tightly in Fletchers. In between every other conversation he has with his best friend, he brings Joey's fingers to his lips to plant kisses along her skin. I loved watching their love. It made them oblivious to Carter's wandering eyes when they found me periodically throughout the movie.

I studied how the candlelight flickered off his face. He's too beautiful to be real. The sharpness of his jawline, and how it perfectly transcends to the thickness of his neck. All of the veins. The muscle. The dark brown mole that peeks out of his shirt.

A beautifully broken boy who is too good at hiding his feelings and even better at making others happy. There's something dangerous about a person who deals with the darkest thoughts but brings light to everyone else's life. He's too busy focusing on others than himself.

He opened up to me as a distraction from the nightmares I had. After the refusal to talk about his past, he gave me insight into his childhood. It broke the pieces of my heart I've spent the better half of these so many months healing.

Whenever he looks in my direction, I want to ask what's happening between us. I don't want to be any further away from him than what Joey is to Fletcher. I want to sit beside him on the couch like it's normal and hold hands whenever we want to.

Now that Joey is getting up from the couch and has Fletcher distracted, Carter's eyes meet mine over my knees. A soft smile graced his lips, giving me a sense of warmth the blanket on my body never could.

"I really wish I wasn't hungry."

Carter's eyes rolled, focusing on the red-headed woman making her way into the living room.

Fletcher paused the movie. "Do you want me to make you something?"

"No," she fell back onto the couch. "I just wish I wasn't hungry. That's all."

"Joey," my brother sighed. "Do you want me to make you something to eat?"

Her head moved back and forth. "Not unless you can make good pizza."

"It's too late. I can do something – "

"Order it," Carter interrupted him. "I'll pick it up."

Fletcher's shoulders tipped upward as he contemplated way too long. "I don't see why not."

"Call it in," the tattooed boy stood up. "By the time I get there it should be ready."

"What do we want?"

"Figure it out," Carter grabbed his keys. "Sawyer let's go."

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at him. "What?"

He pointed toward the back door, blinking with disbelief. "We're picking up the pizza."

Joey shot me a toothy grin. "You better get going, Sawyer."