The Recode project. [Inanimate Insanity AU]

Uhh yeah (reason why this book hasnt updated!)

This message is gonna contain a bit of sensitive topics such as self-harm, suicide, SA. I don't want to trigger any of y'all with my personal issues so please read at your own convenience.

So yeah. I started writing this during a shitty period in my life during year 8. So that's why this is so poorly written. I was being manipulated by a girl in my year. She'd make me uncomfortable, I'd say something, we wouldn't talk for a week than she'd tell me she was sorry and that she loved me. She would tell me she'd end it all if I didn't forgive her. (First mistake I can't actually believe I fell for that.)

This continued for basically the whole time we knew each other. We had a weird situationship , dating on and off you guys have probably heard it all before. I never really cared much until things got physical. It started of small like un-consensual kissing to her putting her hands around my throat and choking me out. There was even a time (which I don't quite remember because I was drunk.) that she did something to me. I can't remember it and honestly I'm greatful. I don't want to remember anything about her or what she did to me. I just remember being sore the morning after and being really hungover. So yeah, she has also intteracted with me several times on this account. Obviously I've responded and tried to keep as reasonable as possible. I'd like to be the bigger person. However this has caused me great trouble with updating my works. I'm so worried she'll come back. I don't want her to know me anymore and I just want to move on from this whole ordeal.

Anyways she would say horrible things to me. She would tell me I was shit at everything I did and really bash my writing. I still loved her at the time. (I thought she was the only person ever capable of loving me) and hearing this really hurt. I ended up losing my passion for writing because of her. And I'm genuinely so sorry, I know there are quite a few people who like this book and I'm sorry I haven't updated it. I haven't been well mentally and I've been struggling with self harm and suicidal thoughts for since I was like 8.

Although all of this has happened to me, I still think you guys deserve to see this au finished. Even if it's not the best. I still need to put aside some time to write the rest of this au as I'm very busy with my GCSE at the moment. I promise i will finish it, like I said I just need more time. I want to re-write some of the chapters too as I'm aware they aren't the best. I will admit I still have the paper copy of one of the chapters. So If I have time this weekend I'll type it up for you. Another thing Is id like to update the art book. I have gotten SO much better at drawing compared to my old stuff and honestly I'd love to show you all.

This will probably be up for a while as I may forget to take it down. I dont use this app much anymore. Late chapters may also be caused bye technical difficulties. Sorry.

Happy news about my life is that my abuser ids completely out of my life and in a different country. I'm recovering and moving on and am even at the point where I can joke about this with my friends. I don't feel guilty eating anymore, I'm free, I'm safe and I'm happy to say I'm officially 6 months clean.

Thank you all for this, your reads, your upvotes everything. This all means so much to me and I want to remind you all that you are truly amazing!

-silver