I'm The Geek Who Slapped A Football Player.

42 - Awkward

*gets smashed in the face with laptop*

"Ugh!"

*spits out tooth*

"Jeezus, I didn't even get to say sorr-"

*gets smoked with half-eaten apple in the gut*

"Lord, there was some fire behind that one, fu-"

*dodges desktop computer*

"Christ-"

*dodges mattress*

"Holy mother of-"

*dodges glasses*

"Don't you need those-"

*gets beaned in the nose with frisbee*

"OUCHGOODLORDFUCKINGCHRIST OK OK JUST READ AND IM SORR-"

*ducks beneath whinnying 2000 pound draft horse that soars overhead*

*bails*

*squeaks from hiding spot* "Enjoy the chapter..!"

Chapter 42 -

The sound of Sebastian eating is the only sound at the table.

Well, I mean there are other sounds, like You Can't Hurry Love by the Supremes humming quietly in the background from the stereo, the soft pleading meow of Nibbles from the bathroom every once and a while, the awkward scrape of my mother's fork as she pretends to eat mac and cheese, the clink of a glass as my dad puts his cup of water on the table for the thousandth time, and the absolutely frustrated and anxious babble that is streaming in my head.

Ohmygod can I just freaking die and be buried under thirty-million tons of rock and dirt and just chill with all the freaking worms and shit and not have to deal with stupid idiot Sebastian MacCrain in my house my god I wish he wasn't here and I wish my mom hadn't made so much food and shit shit shit-

It is by far the most awkward supper ever.

We've only just sat down but I'm about ready to get up and lock myself in my fuckign room. Mom has hardly squeaked a word, but Dad at least has kept his shit mostly together, telling Sebastian to just lay his backpack on the floor under the coat rack. There was an extremely stupid moment when we all just stood by the table, waiting for someone to sit down, and then I just pulled out a chair and plopped down, face burning in mortification at how downright fucking stupid everything was already going. Dad had sat down next, on my right, then Sebastian pulled out the chair to my left, about sat down, and then pulled out the chair on the right of my Dad for my Mom (which was so ridiculously polite and unexpected that I nearly choked on air) and she sat down with one of the mostly painfully stressed-out smiles on her face.

I'd noticed how Sebastian had automatically folded his hands on the table, but my Dad had gestured to the absurd crap ton of food before us all and said, "Guests first,"

My family has never been the most church-going of people, so my parents hadn't picked up his obvious involuntary reaction to prayer before eating, but Sebastian had just smiled a friendly dazzler of a smile and said, "Thank you sir," and reached for the pizza.

"Oh!" My mother had yelped and we all flinched. "This side is pepperoni this side is beef this side is sausage this side is cheese." She rambled in a high-pitched rasp that remind me of a hamster with a freaking smoking problem.

Sebastian gawked at her for a moment and then nodded, smiling lightly. "Thanks. I saw the pepperoni right off the bat because that's my favorite, but beef sounds good too." He'd peeled off a slice of pepperoni and a slice of beef, then scooped a small helping of mac and cheese and grabbed a few carrots and a dollop of ranch. We'd all stared at him for a mortifying beat of silence, and then Dad had grabbed a turkey sandwich.