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Pen Your Pride

  Whoa, whoa whoa. Wait, what?

  Darius.. He loves me? Loves? REALLY? My heart soared with happiness and I could feel the corners of my mouth lifting up to a smile. Someone loves me! My dad never did, I could tell. All I was to him was a burdensome lump that merely took up his time. My mum.. Maybe she did? I don't know. She died when I was 3.

   But Darius! This was the first day, and he loved me already!

  "You love me? That's g-great, y'know? It's good!" I gushed like a total idiot, feeling a little lightheaded.

  Darius chuckled. "It's probably the first time I've had feelings for someone upon first meeting, but, yeah."

  I grinned, and I probably looked like an idiot, but whatever.

  "So, what d'you say?" He asked me, playing with his fingers. He looked down and blushed.

  "Of course I love you too!"

  He looked up. "Really?"

  I rolled my eyes. "Duh, of course I do. You're my friend."

  For a second, I caught the confusion that crossed his face. What was he confused about? I just told him I loved him. I meant it. His eyes met mine with uncertainty. And then, he got up.

  "Maybe we should, uh, talk about this later. I gotta go," He mumbled.

  "Wait, what did I do?" I asked.

  He ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head. "Nothing," He said, "you don't understand, I guess."

  I stood up. "Then tell me!" I said indignantly. What was it did I not understand?

  "I can't explain it, Audrey." He left.

  I sat back down on the chair, baffled. What just happened? Was it wrong when I told him that I love him back? Friends love each other, don't they? I've never had any friends, so I wouldn't know. But, judging by the way the popular kids back at my previous school acted, friends do love each other. They go all, Ohemgee I SO love you, like really, you're totes adorable!

  So what did I do? For goodness' sake, this is one messed up first day of school.


  "Dad, I'm home!" I called out. "Not that you'd care," I added silently.

  "Audrey, my baby!" Dad lifted me up and planted a wet kiss on my forehead. I could smell the cigarette-alchohol mixture in his breath. Obviously he was drunk. He never kissed my forehead or cheek whenever he was sober, which is like, never.

  "Right, I'm going to my room." I sucked in a deep breath.

  He released me and gave a puppy face. "Aw, c'mon, Audrey, play with me! Play house with me," He whined. I raised my eyebrows and resisted the tempation to get my Nokia and take a video of him.

  "Maybe later, Dad."

  I stalked off to my room, closed the door and leaned against it. This was the only place that made me feel normal. My room practically screams my name. The permission to decorate my room whichever way I wanted was probably the best gift that Dad had ever given me.

  The floor was covered with brown carpetting. The wall behind my bed was a deep purple, and I had decorated it by painting shapes on it. The wall beside it was lime green, and sloped down a little at the side. I had hung some lanterns on the sloping part of the wall. Then came my drawers and closet. They were small, but sufficient enough for me to keep my clothes and books, which weren't a lot. My bed was Queen-sized, and I had a lime-green and black comforter that I adored. I had initially bought a lime-green furry comforter, then bought a black one, and then overlapped them and cut away some parts to create what my comforter was like today. The double-layer certainly helped me get through the endless winter nights.

  My pillows were pretty much lime-green and black. I had a butterfly-shaped pillow that I had named Jacinta. Yes, I name my pillowpets. Judge me. I can't live without Jacinta.

  I dropped my schoolbag, crashed onto my bed, and cuddled Jacinta. And then, I started sobbing.


Hey guys :) Well, here's Chapter Eight! I hope you like it. Anyway, if you're confused, let me clarify. Audrey didn't have a somewhat.. normal childhood you could say. No one was there to teach her about things.. about being a woman. She had to figure it out all by herself. And she doesn't know what love is. She kept her head down in her previous school, so she wasn't really exposed to the world. Also, her dad never taught her. He was too busy making ends meet for both of them and drowning himself in alchohol. So.. she doesn't know what love is. Sure, she knows what family and friendly love is. She doesn't know what loving the opposite gender is like, though. Sure, she's seen couples. But she doesn't bother to find out more, doesn't bother to have crushes. She's been enveloped in this little wall that she builts around her, only focusing on herself and academics. Hope this chapter makes more sense now :)

OKAY I'VE TOLD YOU ENOUGH :D that was just some insight as to how her childhood was like. Anywayyyyyyy picture to the side is her bedroom. Keep in mind that she couldn't afford a luxury bedroom but at the same time she's not totally poor.

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