Redemption

A PART OF ME ALWAYS KNEW

The world shifted. I felt it tilt when Carter's lips met mine, and the ground seemed to disappear below my feet. His body collapsed against mine, keeping me pinned against the truck. I felt him everywhere. Kissing him made me vulnerable.

I felt the stubble on his jaw scraping my skin despite how gentle his mouth felt against mine. His fingers danced up my body, and from the trail of goosebumps he left behind, none of it felt rushed. Everything seemed slow. Even if my heart was racing.

It made me question how much he wanted to kiss me because of how hesitant he was to continue, but I tightened my grip on his sweatshirt just as his tongue slipped past my lips to stroke mine.

Everything about this felt like safety and security. I didn't second-guess his touch or how he chose to explore my body. He went from tugging my hand away from gripping his shirt to putting it in his hair. Just as my fingers threaded through the dark locks, he sighed heavily through his nose.

I'm overwhelmed by the sensation he's bringing me. From the desperation to keep his lips on mine to the voice in my head silently begging him to never take his hands off my body. None of it made sense to me. I didn't want to waste time trying to figure it out, so I gripped his hair and sucked in his scent.

"Fuck me," he grumbled against my mouth.

His tongue danced with mine as he gripped my hip tighter, pulling me closer to his body. He holds me like I'm going to disappear the second he lets go. He kisses me like my mouth is giving him life.

The pressure of my back against the truck caused my shirt to slide up. I whimpered against his lips at the feeling of his rough fingers caressing my bare skin.

This didn't feel like we were just friends anymore. I hope this felt like me choosing him because Tory was never an option. It would always be Carter.

Just as his thumb caught the band of my spandex, I thought of things I never wondered about. It made heat flush through my cheeks, and just when he rolled his hips against mine, I gasped against his mouth.

"Jesus Christ," his words vibrated against my skin as I pulled away.

I felt my knees weaken under his stare. He's too perfect. Everything about him looked powerful. There's something about his masculine energy that made me feel safe. The way I'm pinned against the truck with his body covering me, I feel protected.

I tried sucking down enough air, hoping it'd help me breathe, but I felt breathless standing here with him.

"I can feel your goosebumps," he mumbled.

I'm almost sure it's because of what just happened but a gust of wind whipped between us, and I shivered. Then he stepped away and the dropping temperatures he shielded my body from nipped at my exposed skin.

The hand on my hip tugged me away from the door, giving him access to open it. Just as I turned to get inside his truck, his mouth brushed my ear.

"I really am happy you ended up with me tonight," he pressed a kiss to my temple.

Something ached in my chest. It's not what he said; it's the repetition. It's like he is trying to convince himself that I'm really here like he didn't believe I'd choose him.

As he stares down at me, smiling, like I'm the very thing his world revolves around, I question his past. It made me worry. It grabbed at the strings in my chest, and strummed chords I didn't like hearing too much. I never wanted to imagine someone hurting him.

"I don't want to be anywhere else," my heart thumped against my ribcage. "Whenever I'm with you, I feel like I'm exactly where I should be."

And I suddenly realized I never stood a chance. Not when it came to Carter. It's been him since day one, and even if I'm now fully understanding that, a part of me always knew.