Prose that may be too bland or too blue;
Random stories that may or may not be true;
All penned by Alice in her times of loneliness;
They shall aid the mind and heart of the restless.
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Do you remember that night when it was just the two of us? You were seated, I was standing, and we were hugging. When you immediately started crying . . . it broke my heart. Because someone who I used to see as the most cruel, most hateful, and most narcissistic person on earth had shown me his vulnerable side. You showed me that while I was hurting, you were hurting, too. You showed me that you weren’t bulletproof. And so, I cried along with you. Our tears mingled. Our unsaid pain became understood.
You never asked for my forgiveness, but at that moment, I forgave you. I am not saying that I will forget. After all, I am the type of person who holds onto memories. I will always remember how evil you were. How hurtful your curses had been. How suffocating the arms you call home were. How frightening your presence was. Until my dying breath, your sins will not be forgotten, but for now, you are forgiven.
I am slowly unlearning the hatred I had harbored for you. I am no longer cooking up some complicated revenge plan. Whatever your punishment might be, I am letting the heavens decide on it.
All the pain, the agony, and the wounds you caused? They don’t hurt anymore.
All my life I had been taught that if we love someone, we must give it our all. We must make sacrifices. We must move mountains. But you made me realize that it doesn’t always have to be like that. Love comes in fractured forms, in unequal amounts, in uncertain bouts. This love is not beautiful, nor is it perfect or complete, but this is how I love you. This love was innate when it was first born. Innocent in its very first years in my heart. As time went by, it got eroded, dropped, deliberately stabbed, and bled dry. This love had been hatred, loathing, and indifference before it became the love that it has become now. This love is not the greatest I have ever given, but this is all I have left. This is all I can ever give. And for now, I hope it is enough.
