Love's Redemption♡

VIHAAN'S POV- 3

"Nothing vanishes the light in a man's eyes like the abandonment of a woman who was his land, sky and universe."
-- Ghassan Kanafani
_______________________________________
5 years ago:

I'm sitting in my room, staring blankly at the wall as I think about everything that's happened. I feel a deep sense of regret and loss, knowing that I've ruined the one friendship that truly mattered to me.

I think about Vahni, about the way she looked at me with such hurt and betrayal in her eyes. I think about the way I called her names, the way I tried to push her away. And I feel a pang of regret so sharp that it takes my breath away.

I deserved the slap, every bit of it. I was cruel and heartless, and I hurt her deeply. And for what? To prove a point? To show her that I didn't care? It was all just a lie, a pathetic attempt to hide my own feelings.

Vahni is nothing like the person I made her out to be. She's the most innocent person I've ever met, with a heart full of love and kindness. And I've known her since I was 8 years old - we've grown up together, shared our deepest secrets and dreams. We've been through thick and thin, and I've always been there for her... or so I thought.

But now, I realize that I wasn't there for her when it mattered most. I wasn't there for her when she needed me to listen, to understand. I was too caught up in my own fears and doubts, too scared to face my own feelings.

And so I pushed her away. I called her names, I hurt her, and I broke her trust. And now, I've lost her. I've lost the one person who truly mattered to me.

I feel a wave of despair wash over me as I think about what I've done. I think about all the memories we shared, all the laughter and the tears. I think about the way she used to look at me, with such love and adoration in her eyes. And I think about the way I threw it all away, like it meant nothing to me.

But it did mean something to me. It meant everything. Because Vahni was my best friend, my confidante, my soulmate. And I was too blind to see it.

The only thing I don't regret is the kiss. It was a moment of truth, a moment when I let my guard down and showed Vahni how I really feel. And even though I tried to take it back, even though I tried to pretend it didn't mean anything, I know that it did.

It meant everything.

Because in that moment, I realized that I have feelings for Vahni. Real feelings. And it's too late now, because I've already lost her.

I'm filled with a sense of longing and regret as I think about what could have been. I think about the way things could have turned out if I had just been brave enough to face my feelings. If I had just been honest with myself and with Vahni.

But I wasn't. And now, it's too late. All I can do is sit here, surrounded by the memories of our friendship, and wonder what could have been.

I'm not sure how I'm going to move on from this. I'm not sure how I'm going to live without Vahni in my life. But I know I have to try. I have to try to make amends, to apologize for my mistakes. And I have to try to move on, to find a way to heal and to forgive myself.

As I sit here, surrounded by the memories of our friendship, I'm reminded of all the good times we shared. I'm reminded of the laughter, the adventures, and the quiet moments we spent together. And I'm filled with a sense of longing and regret.

Why did I have to be so blind? Why did I have to push her away? I think about all the what-ifs, all the possibilities that could have been if only I had been brave enough to face my feelings.

I think about the way Vahni used to smile at me, the way her eyes would light up when we were together. I think about the way she used to make me feel, like I was home, like I was exactly where I was meant to be.

And I realize that I've been living in denial for so long. I've been denying my feelings, denying the truth about our friendship. But now, I see it all so clearly. I see that Vahni was the one person who truly understood me, who truly cared about me.

And I've lost her. I've lost the one person who made me feel alive.