a reason to smile // seo changbin ✔️

chapter twenty-eight

repaired

moon jieun - sunday

"so i've never done this." i speak nervously, fiddling with changbin's hand in mine.

"why are you nervous? i'm the one meeting him for the first time." changbin chuckles, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze, and effectively stopping my fidgeting.

"i know, but i've never brought anyone home to my parents— er... i guess just my dad." a brief wave of sadness washes over me.

"you said he wanted to meet me."

"he does, it's just... new..."

"well it's new to me too, besides, i'm great with parents." he puffs out his chest a bit, making me laugh.

"i bet you are." i reply playfully, patting his muscular chest.

"so come on, first impressions are everything, and being late isn't a good start." he leans forward, nudging my nose with his. i giggle placing a small peck on his lips before we pull away, and i lead him up my driveway. it felt so formal, i almost felt like i needed to knock on my own door, but with changbin's hand in mine, we step inside.

"dad?" i call out, slipping my shoes off by the door. changbin follows suit, sliding his leather jacket off and draping it over his arm.

"in the kitchen!" he calls back out. true to his word, he'd been coming home from work on time, completely absent of any signs of his mistress. i hated that it took mom leaving for him to stop his extracurriculars, but i had to hand it to him. he was putting in the work to change. i hadn't heard much from mom since she left, but i wasn't expecting to hear much from her for a while. she needed to heal, and while i hate the way she chose to do it, i can't fault her for doing what she needs.

changbin follows me to the kitchen, having seemingly no anxiety in his steps. as we peer around the corner, my dad, clad in his slacks and button up from work, was stood over the stove, flipping something in a pan.

"i didn't know you were cooking today." i speak up, moving to see what he was making.

"i figured that's what you do when you meet your daughters boyfriend." he lowers the heat on the stove before turning around to face changbin.

"hi mr. moon, it's nice to finally meet you." changbin bows a polite ninety degrees, giving my dad a warm smile. my dad instantly grins at him.

"and you must be changbin, my daughter isn't very talkative, so can't say i've heard much about you. but it's great to meet you." my dad bows back, and then offers his hand to changbin, which changbin instantly takes in a firm handshake.

"well, i'll be glad to tell you anything you want to know." changbin replies expertly, very obviously already winning my dad over. i can't lie, it's very impressive to see how easily he falls into conversation. before i knew it, the two of them were discussing how we met.

"jieun, i didn't know you were in therapy." my dad states as changbin informs him. changbin's eyes widen and he gives me an apologetic look

"it's okay—" i wave off changbin's concern. "i was going to tell you soon, i just couldn't figure out how." i explain to my dad, feeling guilty for keeping it from him. but with everything that had been going on with him and my mom, i didn't necessarily feel like adding anything else on their plates.

"i'm sorry that you didn't feel like you could tell me." my dad pulls his lips into a thin line, shooting me a look of sympathy before changbin claps his hands together.

"so, what did you make us for dinner?" changbin changes the subject, and i send him a thankful look. my dad and i could talk about this another time, and changbin knew i wanted to keep this night light hearted.

"well," my dad stands, lifting the pot off of the stove, placing it in the center of the table. "you'll have to forgive me, it's been a while since i made it, but it used to be jieun's favorite." he says with a smile, moving to grab bowls for each of us. it was only then that i recognized the nostalgic aroma of one of my favorite childhood dishes. specifically made by my father.

"you made japchae?" i ask, slightly wide eyed as my dad places a bowl in front of me.

"i did. hopefully it's as good as you remember." my dad smiles, and changbin practically coo's at the interaction. seeing my dad stick true to his word and really try with me again was warming my heart in ways i didn't know possible. i found myself anticipating my next session with mrs. cho. wanting to tell her about my fathers attempts at rebuilding our broken relationship. i wanted to hear her thoughts on it, wanted her to help me work through the emotions i'm feeling because of it.

and then it hit me that next tuesday is our fifth session. and all that time ago, with my professor who had convinced me to go to just five therapy sessions. i remember the girl who laughed at the thought, knowing her final days were near. that girl felt like the faintest memory, and i couldn't help but feel happy knowing how drastically i have changed.

but that meant my final session with mrs. cho was coming up. and i wasn't sure if i was ready to stop seeing her. though i'd made tons of progress, there are so many new feelings and emotions that i'm not used to processing yet, and i know without a shadow of a doubt that mrs. cho will be able to help guide me through it. i owed her so much for all of the help she's given me, despite our short sessions. everything she's said to me has been insanely impactful, and i wasn't ready to let go.

"it's delicious, dad..." i finally speak up after a beat of silence, after he had served us all, and we all dug in. it reminded me of my childhood, when dad would come home early from work often just to help my mom cook. when we would all gather in the family room and watch some cheesy comedy movie to wind down before heading off to bed. when my dad would sneak my ice cream after mom had fallen asleep during the movie.

my life would never be like that again, i was sure of that. my parents were through, and nothing would ever be the same. but, i knew that my new life wasn't exactly something i was afraid of. i welcomed the change, and the challenge that came with it. and knowing that i have changbin by my side now will make it that much more bearable.

and in this moment,

i simply couldn't be more grateful.