"Demi, si Min??" tanong ni Dops, pilit na ginagawang casual ang tono, pero may halong kaba sa ilalim.
"May pasok pa hanggang 8:30 PM," sagot ni Demi, bago agad nagpalit ng usapan. "By the way, kape tayo?"
Napangisi si Dops, napailing. "Kape lang ba talaga gusto mo, Demi?"
He laughs quietly, but they both know-he owes Demi a talk.
"Hahaha, pero ano, game ka ba?" tanong ulit ni Demi, this time, may bahagyang hamon sa boses niya.
"Sige, sige. Macchiato ulit?" tanong ni Dops.
Demi snorts. "Alam na alam, ah. HAHAHA."
"Syempre. 'Yan mga galawan mo eh kapag may... alam mo na." Dops smirks, pero may bahagyang lamig sa tono niya.
Nang makuha na nila ang macchiato drinks, dumiretso sila sa usual spot nila-isang maliit na park na palaging tahimik tuwing gabi. Dito sila palaging tumatambay. Dito rin palaging natatapos ang usapan nilang hindi nila kayang tapusin.
**[Sa Gilid ng Park]**
"Dops."
"Hm?"
Hindi siya tinignan ni Dops, nakatutok lang sa malawak na park sa harapan nila. Hawak niya ang baso niya, pero hindi umiinom.
"... Ayos ka lang?"
Dops snorts. "Tangina. Alam mo, ang corny mo minsan."
"Bakit?"
"Wala. Ang obvious lang kasi ng sagot. Syempre hindi."
He says it casually, pero ramdam mo ang bigat. Parang hinayaan niyang lumabas ang isang bagay na matagal na niyang gustong itago.
Tahimik.
Demi inhales sharply. "Dops... hindi ko in-expect."
Dops clenches his jaw, pero walang reaksyon sa mukha niya. "Sino bang nag-expect? Ako rin naman, gago. Hindi ko rin in-expect 'yon."
Another pause.
The silence between them is filled with things neither of them knows how to say.
Then-
"Ba't mo sinabi?"
Dops finally looks at him. This time, walang hesitation-just raw, unfiltered honesty.
"Kasi gusto kong malaman kung hanggang saan ako pwedeng umasa."
Demi swallows. His eyes flicker with something unreadable. Hindi ito guilt. Hindi rin lungkot. But maybe, just maybe, a mix of both.
"Dops..."
"Wag mong sabihin na ayaw mo akong mawala," Dops interrupts, shaking his head.
A small smile-
"Alam ko na 'yon."
Demi presses his lips together.
"Ayoko nang maghintay nang hindi ko alam kung ano bang hinihintay ko."
May bigat sa pagitan nila.
"Dops... ayaw kitang paasahin."
"Tangina, Dems," Dops exhales, running a hand through his hair. "Hindi naman kita inaakusahan ng ganun."
Then, softer-almost defeated.
"Hindi mo kasalanan 'to. Hindi ko rin alam kung kasalanan ko ba."
A pause.
"Hindi ko alam kung paano titigil."
Demi's chest tightens at that. He hates this-he hates seeing Dops like this. Pero anong gagawin niya? Ano bang dapat niyang sabihin?
Then, barely above a whisper-
"Dops... paano kung magbago 'yung sagot ko?"
Dops freezes.
The look he gives Demi is not one of hope. It's disbelief.
"Putangina, wag mong gawin 'yan."
It comes out sharper than he intended, so he sighs, running a hand through his hair again.
"Wag mong ibigay yung 'paano kung' kung hindi mo rin sigurado."
Demi looks down at his coffee. "Hindi ko sinasadya... iniisip ko lang..."
Dops exhales, shaking his head.
"Alam mo kung anong problema mo, Dems?"
Not angry. Just tired. Maybe a little frustrated-not at Demi, but at himself, at the situation.
"Gusto mong malaman kung anong mangyayari kung pipiliin mo 'ko. Pero hindi mo talaga sure kung kaya mo ba akong piliin!"
Demi's breath catches.
He doesn't respond.
Because fuck, tangina.
Ang on-point ni Dops.
Walang gustong gumalaw. Walang gustong magsalita.
Dops lets out a short, humorless laugh.
"Tangina, parang breakup 'to kahit hindi naman tayo naging tayo. HAHAHA."
Demi finally,
finally lets out a small laugh, shaking his head.
"Gago ka talaga. HAHAHAHA."
Dops smirks, pero may layo pa rin sa tingin niya. Nagkibit-balikat siya.
"Alam ko."
- -
And that's it.
There's no conclusion. No resolution.
Just two people sitting in the weight of something they can't fix.
Not yet, anyway.
**[Later That Night]**
Demi is alone in his room, staring at the ceiling.
Pero kahit anong pilit niyang ipikit ang mga mata niya, nananatili siyang gising.
The conversation keeps replaying in his head.
The way Dops looked at him. The way the words cut too deep.
Napabuntong-hininga siya at kinuha ang phone niya.
Nag-type.
"Sorry."
But he never sends it.
- - -
"Demiiii, sa gilid mo! dapaa!!"
---⋆⭒˚.⋆𝐄𝐗𝐎 ᥫ᭡.⋆⭒˚.⋆---
Song List
- Himala by Rivermaya
Leason learned.
Some things are better left unsaid.
People deserve clarity, not just possibilities. Yung "what ifs" ni Demi ay parang alok ng pag-asa, pero walang kasiguraduhan. At tulad ng sabi ni Dops, mas mabuting wala na lang kaysa sa alok na hindi mo kayang panindigan.
Feelings don't always come with closure.
Hindi lahat ng kwento may malinaw na ending. Minsan, tulad ng kay Demi at Dops, kailangan mong mabuhay sa pagitan ng hindi mo kayang bitawan at hindi mo kayang panindigan.
Love is not just about feelings, but choices. Kung hindi mo kayang piliin nang buo ang isang tao, baka hindi mo pa talaga siya kayang mahalin.
Sheaashh how about that?? That was heavy! Pero ikaw, are you willing ba na mag sugal with that uncertainty??
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That Guy in Busay
FanfictionA heartwarming romcom filled with chaos and unexpected confessions, Demi navigates friendship, family, and feelings-all while trying (and failing) to deny the growing tension between him and Chan. But when a late-night road trip leads to an impulsiv...
