Truth Be Told

twenty

COLIN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT after kissing Sadie. Ask him five years ago and he would have said pigs would sooner fly than for that to happen. Ask him now, though, and it would be a completely different answer.

They should have talked about it. Instead, they ended up parting ways without acknowledging what happened, their eyes meeting before flitting away like they've both been burned, while around them, the rest of the world celebrated Halloween.

She had to leave after the laser tag match, summoned by her friends who wanted to go to a party in Greek Row, and when she stood up to leave, Colin almost reached out to stop her.

He spent the rest of the night tossing and turning in bed, constantly checking her Instagram stories, wondering if she'd gotten home safe or if she was still out there partying with her friends. He's not sure what time he falls asleep, but when he wakes up the day after, he doesn't feel any bit more rested than he had last night.

He's by the door tying his shoelaces when Perry wakes up.

"Morning run?"

Colin nods, pulling at the knot to make sure it's secure, before shoving the laces inside the shoe. He looks up at Perry, biting the inside of his cheeks. With a deep breath, he says, "I'm heading over to Sadie's. Do you think that's a bad idea?"

"I think that's a fantastic idea."

Colin stays rooted in his spot by the door. Eventually, he lets out a sigh and turns to Perry. "What do I do, man?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know." He gestures vaguely at himself. "I'm–I don't–I've never–what if–" He keeps cutting himself short, the words taking a while to form in his head. "I just don't know what I want."

"Isn't it natural to want to date her?"

Even just the thought makes his cheeks warm. "No?" he replies. "Maybe? Fuck, I don't even know what that means."

"Okay. I see what the problem is." Perry leans back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. "Maybe you're getting intimidated by all this but let me make this simple." With a smirk, he says, "Do you or do you not want to make out with her again? And again? And again?"

"No," he replies, honestly believing it's the truth until he says it out loud.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Damn it, Perry."

"What? I'm just trying to help."

"I don't know what I want."

"Then I don't know how I can help." He gives him a shrug. "Good luck." 

* * *

Colin should ask her to forget what happened. This is the conclusion he arrives at after running around for three and a half miles.

Come on, he had told himself, him? Dating? Dating Sadie, of all people?

There's just no way that it could end well. They're better off as friends, if one could even call them that. This momentary attraction is bound to end and he's honestly just not ready for anything. Nor is she, he notes, knowing it hasn't been long since her breakup with Daniel.

He cools down with a walk at the end of his run, heading for Sadie's. He arrives at the lobby, a bit flushed, avoiding eye contact when he spots the elderly woman he'd scared off a few weeks back during Sadie's housewarming party.

The janky movements of the elevator do nothing for his nerves. Colin rehearses in his head: I just want to let you know that yesterday was a mistake and we should just forget about it, repeating the words over and over.