Chapter 16

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Zayns POV


*That night*

Go Zayn, just do it.

I can't.

You cant just keep lying to him like this.

Yeah, but what if he rejects me.

What if he doesn't.

You don't know that will happen.

Take the risk.

But this one risk could ruin everything.

I argued with myself over this whole situation. My brain was telling me one thing but my heart was telling me another. I wanted to tell Liam because I'm absolutely sick of hurting him the way I am but if I do, I know I'm just going to be left heartbroken and the truth is, I wouldn't be able to deal with being rejected by Liam. It would hurt to much. Liam was an important person in my life and if I told him I have feelings towards him, I could possibly loose him. Knowing Liam, he would say that it's alright and he wouldn't treat me any differently but things would never be the same if he doesn't return the feelings. And I knew he didn't. He had Danielle, who is so beautiful and sweet. And she makes him the happiest person in the world. His face always lights up at the thought of her and as much as I love seeing him with that huge smile plastered on his face, it hurts to know that it's her making him feel that way and not me.

Harry's wondering why I'm so confident that Louis will return the feelings for him and it's simple really. There's no special someone of Louis' getting in the way. I know that he and Eleanor broke up, I've known since a couple days after it happened really. If I didn't I wouldn't be trying to convince him. Though Perrie and I aren't dating anymore, we still talk as friends and she told me about the whole break up incident that happened between them. Perrie's pretty good friends with El and she told her right away. I haven't told Harry because not only is it not my business to be telling him but I think it would be better for him if Louis told him himself...which is taking a long time to happen. I'm still pushing him on telling Lou how he feels or telling him just to kiss him and see what happens but he is extremely hesitant to do so. Which I don't blame him for. 

I think that if I get them two together, it will somehow make me feel better. Knowing that I helped someone in a similar situation to me get the one they want and making them happy, it will make me feel as though, that because I helped Harry, he would be feeling the way I want to feel and though I don't have Liam, at least one of us will be happy. He has helped me so much since I told him. I just want him to be as happy with Louis (hopefully) as I want to be with Liam, so I'm trying. 

It's about 11.30 at night and I'm considering talking to Liam. Not now but in the morning. I don't know what the best decision to do would be.

Option 1: I keep doing what I'm doing and staying my distance without him knowing why. He would be upset and confused as to why I was ignoring him and Liam is a sensitive person, so it would hurt him. A lot. I would feel terrible and feel like a horrible person because I am one for doing it to him and every day I would keep thinking what if. I wouldn't have to experience rejection and have my heart broken and our friendship would stay the way it was, just with me hardy talking to him.

Option 2: I tell Liam how I feel. Tell him I really like him, possibly love him because lets face it, who wouldn't fall in love with him. He is with Danielle, so he would reject me and that would kill me inside. We could easily loose our friendship but our friendship would be lost if I kept ignoring him anyway but it would never be the same if I did tell him. I would have a weight off my shoulders and I wouldn't have to keep lying to him.

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