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𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙚𝙢 𝙃𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙢 𝘽𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙜𝙤, 𝙄𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙤𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙮𝙖𝙧𝙙
Harlem sighs as he stares down at his fathers headstone, he stood in the bright snow covered grass not a spec of dirt anywhere
He holds a bouquet of sunflowers and bends down crouching as he places them right in front of the tombstone
This was his first time seeing his fathers tombstone, he was ashamed to be here, he hadnt even been there for his fathers final moments chasing pills and dick thats wasn't his to begin with
He felt extremely repentant for what he had done to his father he didnt even feel as if he he deserved to see him, talk to him, even think about his dad
Yet his guilt got the better of him, and here he was begging for forgiveness that he knew he would never get
"P-pops" Harlem voice cracks as he plops on his bottom not caring about his pants getting dirty anymore he just wanted his father back
His eyes tear up as he leans against the headstone, his head down between his arms which hooked around his legs
"Im so sorry" he starts off feelings his tears fall as he begin to remember all the things him snd his father did together
Tying his shoe for the first time alone, learning how to play the clarinet, riding his first bike, skating for the first time, even making his very own first mean which was something as simple as a PB&J yet his father made him seem like he was a super hero in those moments
"I-i dont know if this is good news for you but saint is dead, dumbass died to an overdose" Harlem chuckles sniffling as he wipes his tears stained face just for more to fall down
"I thought he was stronger than to die to drugs but i guess not, thats good n-news for me i guess" Harlem mumbles off his body starting to shake as he cries harder
There nothing like loosing a parent, yet to loose one and not be there for there final moments was even worse
Harlem didnt deserve happiness in his eyes, and here he was with the love of his life feeling better than ever while his hero was dead suffering for months while he was out being a dumb teenager
Harlem honestly didnt think forgiveness was possible for him
"I-i also got a boyfriend, ion know if thats good news either b-but hes awesome pa he-he's so pretty you know every time i look at him i feel complete with him I feel like life is possible" harlem confesses laying his head on top of the stone that read Symere Jacobs Bennet
"He gives me a feeling of ecstasy, he make everything disappear around me when he smile, his touch makes me melt and his voice soothes my heart with him everything feels so good pops if i could marry him i would but i wanna give it some time ion know how much doe i just know i wanna spend eternity with Javi" Harlem trails off smiling a bit at the thoughts of his man
