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Song for this chapter:

Doin' Fine by Snow Tha Product


Last night, there was a vicious robbery attempt at Rocky's Get & Go on Palmers Blvd. Rocky, the longtime owner, at the age of sixty-four suffered a gun wound to his stomach. He is in critical condition, but is expected to pull through. Chase Sanders, a twenty year old local was found at the scene by the LAPD. He had stolen cigarettes and cash inside of a JanSport backpack. Rocky says there were three suspects, but the other two suspects are unknown. It was known for sure that Chase Sanders was the one to pull the trigger. On to brighter, and also somewhat surprising news, KSLA 7 has become a viral sensation thanks to a very, energetic bystander. "[Beep] her right in the [beep] with a [beep]!"

I bit on my lower lip as hard as I could and tried my best not to laugh. My mother paused the DVR mid-thrust and stood in front of the television with her hands on her hips. She had woken me up as soon as she saw all of this on the news and of course, she was as angry as ever. Her face was redder than a ripe tomato as she stared straight at me with my father by her side. My father looked as if he was trying to hold back a goofy smile. Thankfully, he wasn't as b-tchy as my mother. He f-cked up and let a stupid smile show which made me laugh loudly.

"Oh, so you think is funny," my mother screamed at me with nothing but annoyance. I stopped laughing and ran my hand through my short, disheveled bed hair. Leaning back in the couch with much disinterest, I grabbed the bag of chips that were sitting in my lap and opened them. Last night, Cullen and I stayed up waiting for a call from Chase but of course the dumbass never called because he was in f-cking jail. Early this morning, Cullen managed to sneak out. Now, I was stuck here with my annoying, dramatic mother.

I popped a chip into my mouth before reaching out the bag to my mother, "Cheeto?"

My mother blew her breath and crossed her arms with appalment. Her jaw dropped slightly as she look at my father to say something about my blatant state of apathy. My father looked from my mother to my out reached hand. "I'll take one," he told me as he reached for the bag. Before he could grab a cheeto, my mother smacked his hand away.


"What, Suzanne?!"

My mother huffed and I shrugged my shoulders and brought the bag of chips back towards me. "You know, Channing, you being disinterested isn't cute or precious! I have a weird feeling that you had something to do with that robbery last night! There were three suspects and I know it was you, Cullen and Chase. It's the only thing that makes sense! Plus, you pulled that silly little stunt on live television! Do you know how many people have seen that by now? Your grandparents are going to see this!"

"Good thing that'll probably die soon," I muttered under my breath.

"Your cousins are going to see this! Channing, my pastor is going to see this! How many times do I have to tell you!? Your face brands this family!"

"Good thing I'm good looking, right? It'd be a shame if Cousin Lisa's face branded this family. I mean, she looks like Shrek on a bad day," I continued before putting a handful of Cheetos in my mouth.

"When you give yourself a bad name, you give us a bad name," my mother continued as if I hadn't even said anything.

I rolled my eyes at her as I licked off the cheesy dust from my fingertips. With irritation, my mother took a seat in a recliner near the sofa. She grabbed her long, brunette hair in frustration as my father followed. He stood behind her and began massaging her shoulders, trying to calm her down. I sighed and looked towards the television. It was still paused with me mid-thrust as I looked straight into the camera. "Chill, mom. Don't get your dry panties in a bunch. I mean, look at me! I'm f-cking hilarious," I argued in defense as I pointed towards the television screen. I reached over towards the battered, wooden coffee table and grabbed the remote control. I rewound to the beginning of my legendary clip and played it all over again. How did she not find this funny!?

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