-3- / -So Hard Headed-

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Part. 3 -So Hard Headed-

"When I was a young boy, my father, took me into the city." ~ My Chemical Romance.

Comment a lyric from Welcome to the Black Parade!


I sobbed in my shirt, slowly soaking it with my tears.

I don't want to be like her.

I can't be like the person who I used to love with all my heart. Be like the person that would read me to sleep, Someone who I would sing with everyday and smile with my little tooth gap back when I was six.

I know... and I've told myself a million times, that I would never be able to be like her. I don't want to end up like her, no matter what.

My head ached as my tears flowed like a stream.

This isn't the life I wanted, this isn't the life I needed nor deserved. I've always been a good kid. Straight A's, never disrespected anyone, couldn't even hurt a fly.

My misfortune makes me force a smile, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person.

I'm too young for this. I'm just a little girl! I should be talking about boys and being a kid, running outside and having mommy days with my mother.

I am not a dumb girl. I know exactly what Alex wants. We all do. Putting two pieces together isn't rocket science, so why is it so hard for me to accept the truth?

I can't allow myself to be at risk of having a video leak of me on the internet.

I don't want to be that girl who gets pregnant at the age of 13. Walking around and hearing people saying how bad her life is and how big of a slut she is.

And I don't want to have... sex.

I-I-I just can't.

I'm not going to let it happen.

It's already bad enough that I have to kiss that boy everyday without even wanting me to.

It's truly is a shame how much beauty can fool a person.  Alexander is surrounded by everything he wants, and no one seems to understand what kind of a person he is. He would threaten teachers if then even so dared to complain to his parents about bullying, and beating poor kids to a pulp. He doesn't and wouldn't care if I say no.

He won't let me say no.

My phone buzzed violently, and I wiped away my tears with my sleeve and grabbed the phone.


Alex: are you ready?

Me: can't go, family are over.

Alex: tell them you need to leave

Me: I never see them.


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