Between Us

☆ part twenty eight ☆

Larks pov

The rain pattered steadily against the windshield as I gripped the steering wheel, staring at the road with a focus that felt too sharp and too forced. My mind, on the other hand, was anything but steady. It was spiraling, thoughts and regrets clashing together like waves in a storm, relentless and unforgiving.

Why the hell did I kiss Sophie? What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, that was the problem. I'd let myself get caught up in emotions I should've buried ages ago. If I'd just ignored them, stayed in my lane, everything would be fine. Sophie wouldn't be caught between two people she cared about. Liam wouldn't be at risk of heartbreak. And I wouldn't be sitting here feeling like the biggest piece of shit in existence. I glanced at Liam out of the corner of my eye. He was leaning back in the passenger seat, staring out at the rain, blissfully unaware of the mess swirling inside me. His relaxed demeanor only made the guilt worse. He trusted me. He always had. And here I was, betraying that trust in the worst way possible.

"You okay?" Liam's voice broke through the silence, soft but tinged with concern.

My hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Yeah," I said quickly, my voice sharper than I intended.

He turned his head to look at me, his brows furrowing. "You sure? You've been... I don't know, weird the past couple of days. Fine one minute, then not fine the next. It's like you're flipping a switch or something."

I forced a smile, though it felt more like a grimace. "I'm fine," I said, trying to sound convincing.

"You don't seem fine," he said, his concern deepening. "Do you need to go back on your meds? Lark it is completely fine if you need to, you know that right?"

The question caught me off guard, and for a moment, I couldn't speak. I glanced at him, my throat tightening. He wasn't accusing me or judging me. He was just... worried. Like he always was. Too sweet, too kind. And it only made everything hurt more. "I'm fine," I said again, my voice softer this time. I tried to smile, but it was weak at best. "I promise."

He didn't look convinced. "You know it's okay if you're not fine, right? If you need help or—"

"I know," I interrupted, my chest tightening. "But I'm okay. Really." The silence that followed was heavy, but Liam didn't push me. He just nodded, though his worry lingered in his expression. I focused on the road, trying to push the spiraling thoughts aside. But they wouldn't leave me alone. Every time I thought I'd shoved them down, they clawed their way back up.

"Lark," Liam said after a while, his voice quieter now. "Do you remember when Dad died?"

The question hit me like a punch to the gut, and my grip on the steering wheel faltered for a moment. I swallowed hard, glancing at him briefly before returning my gaze to the road. "Of course I do," I said, my voice strained.

"I think about it a lot," he admitted, his tone thoughtful. "How bad it was. How lost I felt." I stayed quiet, unsure where he was going with this. "But you," he continued, his voice softening. "You held it together. You kept me together. I don't know how you did it, but you did."

I felt my chest tighten, memories of those dark days flooding back. I'd had no choice but to hold it together. Liam had needed me, and I couldn't let him down. "I just... did what I had to," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"You did more than that," he said, his gaze fixed on me. "You were my rock, Lark. I don't think I ever told you that, but you were. I wouldn't have made it through without you."

Tears pricked at my eyes, and I blinked quickly, keeping my focus on the road. "Liam..."

"I mean it," he said, his voice earnest. "You were always there for me, even when it was hard. And I just... I want to be that for you, too. If you ever need me." I felt a lump form in my throat, and for a moment, I couldn't speak. His words hit me harder than I expected, and the guilt swirling inside me only grew heavier.

"Thanks," I said finally, my voice shaky. "That means a lot."

"I mean it," he said again, reaching over to squeeze my shoulder gently. "You don't always have to be the strong one, you know. You can lean on me, too."

I nodded, though the weight of my own guilt made it hard to fully take his words to heart. "I know," I said quietly.

The rest of the drive was mostly silent, but it wasn't as suffocating as before. Liam's words stayed with me, a bittersweet mix of comfort and pain. He trusted me, cared about me. And I was lying to him.  As we pulled into the driveway, I parked the car and sat there for a moment, my hands still gripping the wheel. Liam glanced at me, his concern flickering back to the surface. "You sure you're okay?" he asked one last time.

I forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach my eyes. "I'm fine," I said, hoping he couldn't hear the lie in my voice.

He nodded slowly, giving me one last look before getting out of the car. I watched him walk toward the house, my heart aching with every step he took. The moment Liam disappeared inside the house, the fragile composure I'd been clinging to shattered. I stayed seated in the car, my hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles turned white. The rain was still falling, light and rhythmic against the roof, but it did nothing to soothe the chaos in my head.

Why did I kiss her? What was I thinking? I leaned forward, resting my forehead against the steering wheel. My chest felt tight, like I couldn't quite catch my breath. My thoughts spiraled faster, tumbling over one another in a relentless loop of guilt, regret, and longing. What the hell is wrong with me? Sophie was never mine to want. I should have ignored my feelings, buried them deeper, done anything but what I did. And now—now I've made everything worse. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the tears to stay back, but they refused to listen. Hot streaks ran down my face, dripping onto my jeans, and I let out a shaky breath.

Sophie.

Even thinking her name hurt. The way she looked at me, the way she touched my face, the way she made promises she couldn't possibly keep—it was all seared into my brain, looping over and over. And then there was Liam, sweet, kind, trusting Liam, who had no idea what was going on.

I betrayed him.

That thought hit me like a freight train, and a sob escaped my lips before I could stop it. I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to muffle the sound, but the floodgates had opened, and there was no stopping it now. What kind of person does this? What kind of person looks at their own brother and lies to his face? He thinks I'm his rock, his constant, but I'm just a fucking disaster. I sat up abruptly, running my hands through my hair as I tried to get a grip on myself. But the more I tried to push the thoughts away, the louder they became.

You're going to ruin everything.

I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes, as if I could block out the thoughts physically. But it didn't work. I couldn't stop thinking about Liam, about Sophie, about the look on Kitty's face when she slapped me and accused me of betrayal. Maybe she's right. Maybe I am a traitor.

But then Sophie's face flashed in my mind—her wide eyes, the softness in her voice when she told me she wanted me, and only me. My chest ached at the memory, torn between the desperate pull of wanting her and the suffocating guilt of what that meant for Liam.

You're going to break him.

I slammed my fist against the steering wheel, letting out a frustrated noise that was somewhere between a scream and a sob. My breath came in uneven gasps, my chest heaving as I tried to calm down, but it was useless.

Why did I have to feel this way? Why couldn't I just let her go?

I leaned back in the seat, staring up at the ceiling of the car as tears continued to slip down my face. The rain outside blurred the windows, matching the haze in my head, and for a moment, I just sat there, completely and utterly lost. I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to make this right. But one thing was clear: no matter what I did, someone was going to get hurt. And I didn't know if I could live with being the one to cause that pain.