Mistaken Love And Hate

14. Unsure Parenthood

Wei Wuxian stood by the window of the room that had been set up for him in the Jin estate, the moonlight casting soft shadows over the room. His fingers traced the edge of the windowsill absently, the cool breeze carrying the scent of blooming flowers from the garden below. The soft murmur of voices from the other side of the house seemed distant, but they pressed against him like an unwanted weight.

He hadn't expected it to feel like this—this strange mixture of relief and dread.

The door behind him opened, and he tensed, instinctively pulling away from the window, his gaze snapping toward the sound. Lan Wangji stood there, looking as steadfast and composed as ever. His eyes searched Wei Wuxian's face for a sign, any sign of what was going on behind those guarded eyes.

"I brought the herbal tea you like," Lan Wangji said quietly, stepping inside and holding out a small cup. His hands, steady as always, looked foreign to Wei Wuxian in this context—gentle, offering, as if they were trying to bridge a gap that had existed for years.

Wei Wuxian hesitated, glancing at the cup before meeting Wangji's eyes. The same uncertainty that gnawed at him flared again—this was all so new, so raw. The thought of co-parenting with Lan Wangji felt like a mountain to climb, and the path to it was littered with so many memories, so many things they hadn't resolved.

"I'm not sure I can do this," Wei Wuxian muttered, his voice low, more to himself than to Wangji. His gaze flickered away, unable to meet the other man's steady stare. "I don't even know where to begin. I'm not good at this kind of... thing. I know how to take care of people, not how to be taken care of."

Lan Wangji's expression softened, his gaze never leaving Wei Wuxian. He stepped closer, a fraction of space closing between them, and placed the cup on the table beside Wei Wuxian.

"I know, and I am grateful for that. But it's my turn now. You have fulfilled your promise to my mother. And yes, before you panic, I met her, and she told me. It's time you let me be your alpha. I want to renew the bond." Wangji said, his voice calm, but there was something in it that suggested a quiet resolve. "Not now, not as a certainty. It's what I want. Whether we will is in the future. We'll figure it out. Together."

Wei Wuxian's lips parted slightly, the words both unfamiliar and strangely comforting. "You're not... angry?" he asked, his voice fragile, as if testing the waters.

"No," Lan Wangji replied simply, his voice unwavering. "For lying to me about why you actually took my responsibility, about freeing my mother from domestic violence, protecting me and bearing the brunt of everything yourself? No, I am not angry, Wei Ying."

The words hung in the air for a long moment. Wei Wuxian took a breath, as if to steady himself, but the tremor in his chest didn't fade. He stared at the cup of tea for a moment longer before reaching for it, his hands shaky but determined. His fingers brushed against Wangji's in the process, and for the briefest instant, the touch sent a ripple of warmth through him.

Sitting back in the chair, Wei Wuxian sipped the tea, the warmth seeping through his body like a balm. It didn't erase the unease or the questions swirling in his mind, but for a moment, it was enough to ground him.

"I don't know how to do this," Wei Wuxian repeated, his voice quieter this time, almost as if confessing a truth he hadn't allowed himself to fully accept. "I've spent so many years alone, thinking I had to handle everything myself. I... don't know how to trust someone else with this."

Lan Wangji's gaze softened even more, his expression becoming almost imperceptible as he stepped closer. He didn't speak at first, simply watching Wei Wuxian with a quiet patience, as though giving him the space he needed to sort through his thoughts.