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May 16th

Harry's hands hastily tangling in my hair and his thumb on my cheek. I reach my hand up to his stubble and take in the literal feeling of his manliness. His hands glide down to my hips and bring me closer. I kiss him blindly.

My body feeling things in a completely different ways and allowing it. The way his hands leave a trail of fire behind, the foreign feel of his lips on mine fitting perfectly, and the heat between us both. I just couldn't get enough. He pulls me smoothly onto his lap. I blush straddling his lap as he pecks the corner of my lips. I then realize how wrong this is. Harry's married. I, well I have Nathan.

I open my eyes pushing him away.

"No, no, no." I say frantically.

"I have a boyfriend." I say softly. "You're married." I'm absolutely shocked that he would kiss me. Here in his garage of his family home, the realization of it all hitting me so hard.

He stays silent and I stare at him. Say something, tell me it was mistake. Tell me you didn't mean to do it and it meant nothing, absolutely nothing. He doesn't though. I quickly grab my things and get out the car.

"Mila." He says after me. "Mila wait." He says catching my arm.

"No, that was a mistake. Neither of us should be doing that. I love my boyfriend and I guess you love your wife." I say defensively. He steps forward with worry in his eyes and I step back.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me. I promise it meant nothing." A kiss always means something. "Just act like this never happened, please." He begs me and with my poor judgement I accept it.

"Nothing is to come of it." I say sharply clinging to my backpack and turning away.

May 30th

By now I was sure we were avoiding each other. I hadn't checked my mail. I've walked to my car with my head down. It's just awkward seeing him. He's married and has kids and I'm over here actually feeling a bit of something bubbling  in my stomach. I don't want to see him so those feelings will go and fade away because I know they are nothing. Absolutely nothing. Or they need to become nothing.

On the other hand, I knew he hadn't let it go.  I knew those heavy green eyes were watching me. If they weren't I was just paranoid. He seemed to workout as regular, maybe in hopes of running in to me. God, I was actually liking a married man. I wanted him to burst through my door and take me anyway he wanted right there. He was ruining me and I barely knew the man. For my sake, I'm a virgin lusting a married man. I won't even let my boyfriend of two years touch me while we kiss. Yet I let Harry pull me over into his lap as we kissed. He weakens me and I have no idea how.

"Fuck," I murmur spilling my coffee on my white tshirt. I stand up to go inside to clean up. I yawn placing the now cold coffee in the sink and my phone rings.

"Hi, Nate." I chime plopping on to my couch. I flick through the nonsense of channels as Nathan talks about some summer kick off he went to last night, without me.

"Ah yeah that sounds like fun." I half agree becoming suckered in to a new episode of the bachelor.

"We should have a party at your place." He says emphatically, too emphatically for 8 o'clock in the morning.

"Uh no." I retort instantly.

"Why not? It'll be a house warming party. It's perfect. You live on the beach everyone can go out there." He tries to reason. I shake my head.

"No, no. I haven't finished unpacking yet. My house is too small for a party. There's no parking, there's no room, and most importantly, there's no booze." I reason. He smacks his lips against his teeth. I cringe with the sound.

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