Pages Unscripted

Entry 04

▪︎The Wana wau wau syndrome▪︎

Hello hello hello!

In today's episode of Pages Unscripted we are gonna talk about a trope that refuses to die no matter how many times it's called out, the "possessive, angry male lead" and his inexplicably swooning female love intrets.

You've seen it everywhere, from Wattpad stories to mainstream movie and series, where love is defined by a man's inability to control his anger.

So, let's sit back and examine what's happening here. Why is controlling, borderline abusive behavior being romanticized? Why is the female lead always painted as someone who tolerates it, or worse, finds it endearing?

First of all, possessiveness is not a personality trait, it's a problem. The Kabir Singh fanboy male lead isn't protective out of love. He's controlling because of his insecurities.

Okay, let's be very real, we all have once envisioned having a possessive and protective boyfriend who's ready to knock out anyone who spares a glance on your way. Making you feel like the queen of his world, right?

In movies, it's all rehearsed punches and slow-motion shots with a background score.

Insert *Wana wau wau Wana wau wau Wana wau*

But the moment you see this play out in real life, a full-blown fight between a group of boys over something as trivial as a glance. You'll never romanticize it again.

It's raw, chaotic, and absolutely terrifying. You're standing there as the only girl, watching grown men throw punches like mad animals, blood dripping from nose, lips and knuckles, and all you can hear are curses being hurled louder than anything. Your heart is pounding, not from excitement but from sheer panic.

Thinking if you should run away or call the cops but what if that escalate the things even more.

It's not romantic. It's not sexy. It's horrifying, and the trauma will stick with you longer than the bruises on their face.

Also, the female lead in this trope is often painted as the bechari, poor, helpless, Gopi bahu's long lost twin who's always running back to her boyfriend every time something doesn't go her way.

It's almost funny how she's portrayed as this fragile, emotional being who can't survive a single interaction without her boyfriend saving her up.

And why? Because A certain someone scolds her for something and she's so emotionally fragile that she can't even speak for herself.

Why?

I mean, she is wearing her Natural beauty, No makeup look, I'm pretty without makeup Dior lipstick that day, and, heaven forbid, it might smudge if she opens her mouth to argue.

It's like she's become this dumb character whose entire existence revolves around being pampered and protected. At no point is she shown to have the strength to stand up for herself or handle things on her own.

Show me one book where the guy teaches her to throw punches. Where he doesn't just swoop in to save her like some knight, but actually asks, "This MF? Slap him. I'm standing right beside you."

Show me the one where he's not just there to fight for her, but teaches her how to fight on her own.

Imagine a guy who actually empowers her, who says, "You don't need me to fight your battles for you." That's the kind of love we should be seeing, not this ridiculous fantsfy.

Somehow, the female lead is always led to believe that with enough hugs, heart-to-hearts conversation and a bit of her understanding. She can turn this possessive, toxic guy into a loving partner and fix him.

No, you can't fix him. You're not his therapist, you're not his emotional savior, and you definitely aren't a fairy with pixie dust.

He doesn't need her to fix him, he needs to fix himself.

And the OG emotional blackmail move: "I did this for you, and I would do anything for you," followed by some absurd, over the top gesture that, honestly, makes no sense.

Suddenly, the guy expects to be praised for his sacrifice, a sacrifice that probably involved him doing something out of line. It could be anything, throwing a fit over her talking to another guy, humiliating her in front of her friends, or making a scene in public.

And then turning around and demanding credit for being so loving and caring.

All his irrational and toxic behavior becomes acceptable just because he's claiming to love her.

And what does the female lead do? She buys into it. She starts thinking, "Maybe he's right. Maybe he really does care about me. Maybe I should forgive him. After all he loves me and I love him too." She's left feeling guilty for wanting to call out his toxic behavior, because he's made her feel like she owes him something in return.

Also, aslo, Mr. Wana wau thinks it's hot to say things like, "I own you. You're mine." Excuse me? No, she isn't yours. She's her parents' property first. They've been there from the start, guiding her, raising her, while you just waltz in thinking you can control her every move because of your outdated, idea of love.

So, next time. If you're going to write about a possessive character. please, don't make the fl into a passive, bechari mess who can't even speak her mind. Give her the strength to stand up for herself, to fight on her own, and not let some overbearing guy tell her what she can or can't do.

Possessiveness in a relationship can be a sign of care, of wanting to protect and cherish the person you love. It's natural to feel protective.

But over-possessiveness? That's a whole different story.

It doesn't stop at possessiveness or emotional manipulation. It progresses, slowly and dangerously, into domestic abuse, sometimes.

It's time we stop romanticizing these toxic tropes and stop pretending that possessiveness is love, that emotional manipulation is caring, and that a relationship built on guilt and control is healthy.

If the guy really loved her, he'd support her growth, respect her boundaries, and help her stand tall and not lean back on him for support.

▪︎

Has anyone of you watched Hi Nanna or Hi Papa? If you haven't watched it yet, what are you even doing with your life? I watched it last month, but I still can't stop gushing over it.

I've linked the trailer in the media, go and watch.