PROMISE ME (OSCAR DIAZ x OC)

Chapter Thirty-One (Alana)

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Alana

ONE WEEK LATER

            I walk into Cesar's room and he's struggling with his tie. "Can you help me?" He asks and I feel horrible.

            "I make dresses." I tell him with a shrug. "I'm not really good with ties."

            "What about Oscar?"

            "He's not going."

            Cesar looks at me dumbfounded. "What do you mean he's not going?"

            I roll my eyes. Oscar has been weird with me since that night I got drunk. I barely remember the things I said but from what Ray relayed to me- because apparently I was loud enough for everyone to hear in the neighborhood, especially after I lost the forty and then some in the yard- I had gotten a little too emotional and a little too deep for Oscar's liking. That and I kept trying to fuck him and I should have known better because he doesn't like to touch me if I've been drinking.

            "He ran out of the house so early I didn't even finish brewing the first pot of coffee... I ended up splitting it with Ray."

            Funny enough Ray is somehow actually really chill. Him and I talk and not just about how Cesar was doing in school or the weather or shift changes at Dwayne's. We talk about almost everything.

            We make fun of customers together when we have to work together and he tells me stories from when he was mine and Oscar's ages. Although his stories sometimes are a bit darker than things I've dealt with it's still nice to talk to someone.

            Ray and I also share a common interest.

            Trash TV.. Such as Jersey Shore and Gypsy Sisters which makes me laugh seeing how invested he gets into the drama of other people. He starts taking sides and pointing out the rights and wrongs of their points of views. I've never seen someone get so into reality TV before.

            Although when it comes to telenovelas Abuelita might have him beat. She goes to church and prays for the characters as if that will change what's prewritten as their fate.

            "Is Ray still home?" Cesar asks.

            "Yeah, he's cleaning up the living room now." After a long talk with Ray and just kindly asking him to be a little better about cleaning up he's taken it very seriously. I even found him mopping the other day. Granted, he was using hand soap as mop solution but the man just got out of prison so A for effort.

            "Can you ask him to help me with this?" Cesar pleads. "I can't not wear a tie. I need to look respectable for Monse's family."

            Unfortunately, a few days ago Monse got a phone call that shattered her world. The phone call that no kid ever wants to get and one that I pray I never get. Her mother passed away and luckily she was with Cesar when she got that call.

            Cesar came home and immediately came to me. Oscar was standoffish about it. Especially since I've dealt with Cesar since he was a child, so for him to crawl into the bed and lay there snuggling one of my pillows while I toyed with his hair as he came undone about every issue that's been bothering him was just normal for me.

            Oscar always says he had to be Cesar's father from such a young age and yet he only acknowledges when it's convenient for him that I'm basically Cesar's mother. Without me, Cesar would never know the love of a woman who's an authoritative figure to him. He'd never know that a mom is supposed to do these things.

            When it came to raising Cesar I tried to do with him all the things my mom does with us. When she talks to us she doesn't talk at us. She listens when we speak and she remembers the words we say and the feelings we have.

            Sometimes Mami can be overbearing but she's the best damn mom out there and I got really lucky to have her and to be able to learn from her. Especially when it came to Cesar.

            "Ask him yourself. He's your dad." I tell him as the words just slip from my mouth. Technically by birth yes... Ray is his dad. But he hasn't fully earned that title yet. Right now it's almost like when your mom gets a new boyfriend and sure he's great but he could change at any moment? That's how it is with Ray. He could switch up. We don't know.

            Cesar nods. "Yeah... I guess I will. Thanks."

            "Hey," I look at him before I leave the room. "You're a good kid and I'm proud of you. Okay? Don't forget that."

            "Why would I forget that? You remind me every day."

            "Good." I smile. "I just want you to know that you're my favorite. Ruby has been quiet lately but I know it's only a matter of time until he derails again. You're good.. You've always been good. Even when Oscar wanted you to do wrong you knew it was wrong and you tried to find a way to do the right thing. I'll always be proud of you, mijo."

            "Doing the right thing got Olivia killed... It changed Ruby-"

            "And yet you're still here. Still healthy and smart. I'm sad Olivia died; I think about her all the time. Especially lately but you would be a walking zombie if you killed Latrelle. You wouldn't be a good kid anymore. You'd have flunked out of school and spent more time doing ride alongs with the guys. You'd have more bodies on you at this point. I'm happy you're not a killer."

            -

            My phone rings as I park my car in front of the house in Brentwood. Cesar looks at me as I lean back in the seat and grunt.

            "Who is it?"

            "Your brother." I hit the answer button. "Yes, Oscar."

            "Where are you." Not a question. But a demand to know where the hell I am after I told him countless times already that I was going to the funeral with Cesar.

            "With Cesar."

            "Jamal needs a ride to Monse's mom's funeral." He says plainly. "Take him."

            "No can do, mi amor." I say in a teasing tone. "I'm already in Brentwood."

            He sighs loudly. "Are you kidding me?"

            "What?" I scoff. "I told you my plans for the day. I told you what time I was leaving the house and you ignored me. You said you had business to attend to with the guys and left before the sun was even up-"

            "Because I'm protecting the Turner family. Shit went down with 19th street and Dwayne asked me to keep an eye on the family. It's the least I can do since he looked out for Cesar. And he looks out for you.. And Ray too."

            Oscar's voice was sharp as he spoke. Like shards of glass cutting through delicate skin. A hot knife in butter. All of those metaphors that make you think it's such a sexy thing to hear and yet the tension was tough as nails.

            "I can't leave here to go and get him. Just drop him off and I'll bring him home. See if Sad Eyez-"

            "Already on it."

            "Cut me off again when I'm speaking, Oscar, I fucking dare you." I grit my teeth into the phone. "You seem to be forgetting yourself. Forgetting who you're speaking to. Do you really want to go backwards with me? Go back to when I wanted nothing to do with you? When the topic of marrying you and having a life with you made me sick? Made me run away? Because if you continue to forget your manners with me I will gladly."

            He takes a moment to exhale a long sigh again. "I'm sorry, mi amor. I just.. I have a lot going on right now. I'm sorry."

            "I'll see you tonight." I tell him plainly. "I love you, Oscar."

            "I love you." He mutters sweetly. Almost to the point of innocence. How he would have sounded had he'd been dealt a different hand in this game of life. Had he never been a Santo. For a moment I start to wonder what that life would be like for us. I bet it'd be beautiful.