a reason to smile // seo changbin ✔️

chapter seventeen

mutual

moon jieun - thursday

i felt weird. i couldn't remember the last time that i actively looked for someone. and right now, i was walking aimlessly around campus, hoping to spot changbin. i never cared enough before to figure out all the places that he goes to on campus. i've only ever run into him outside of the university's counseling building. or on the way to lunch. but it was before classes started today, and i knew he wouldn't be in either of those places. i had no clue where to look, and i honestly felt a little stupid. i had walked the quad almost three times now, and there was no sight of him.

in fact, i'm certain this random girl thinks i'm crazy, because i've walked past her six times. oh my god, jieun. you idiot. fucking text him... i mentally groan at my idiocy, reaching into my pocket for my phone and pulling up his contact.

changbin

hey... where are you right
now?

-

i read over the text, hoping it didn't come off as creepy or anything. but the longer i stared at it, the worse i felt about it. he lived on campus, he was probably still sleeping or— my phone chimed with his response before my thoughts could spiral any further.

changbin

in my dorm, getting ready.
why?

-

what the fuck do i even say to that? oh i'm just looking for you so i can confess that i have feelings for you? definitely not...

changbin

i was just wondering if
you wanted to talk before
class?

yeah! where are you? i'll
come find you.

i'm at the quad, you'll see
me...

awesome, give me ten
minutes.

-

i let out a breath of air at the text exchange. that was... easier than i thought it would be... but now he was actually coming to meet me, and i have yet to figure out exactly what i plan on saying to him. the time was ticking by much faster than i would have liked it to. ten minutes in class felt like an hour, but ten minutes before i planned on confessing to my crush? i swear i only blinked about three times before i saw his muscular form headed my way. he wore a pair of jeans and a black compression shirt, but the muscles i knew he was sporting were hidden beneath a leather jacket. i already knew he was going to scold me for my lack of warm clothes, especially after he had given me his jacket to keep. i still wasn't entirely used to the fact that i wanted to take care of myself.

"hey, sorry if you waited too long." he smiles softly as he approaches me, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he sits down next to me on the bench. i don't think i ever really noticed how nice he smelled. at least, not enough to really appreciate it, but all i wanted to do was take in his scent.

"it's fine, i wasn't." i shake my head. i felt his gaze on me despite the fact that i hadn't really made direct eye contact with him yet. so, i finally turned my head and looked at him, really looked at him, and god, i swear i stopped breathing for a few seconds.

"you seem... nervous." he points out, his brows furrowing slightly. "everything okay?"

"yeah i'm... i'm okay..." saying those words aloud felt so foreign. especially since it wasn't a lie. i really was okay. other than the fact that i was in fact, extremely nervous. but i didn't feel that usual impending doom that i felt every day for the last... i don't even know how many years of my life. "i... i actually have something i want to talk to you about." i tell him, doing my best to keep my voice firm and confident. felix had practically assured me that changbin felt the same way, and that all i needed to do was be honest. i could do that.