Broken souls

20

I left the office feeling a mixture of shame and anger bubbling inside me. Shame for my own behavior snapping and letting my frustration show and anger because of Aurelia. They don't even know her anymore. How could they? She's been gone for so long. The connection they speak of, the memories they cling to, they're all just fragments of a person who doesn't exist in the same way anymore.

Even my father, who tries so hard to hold onto the past, can only grasp at shadows. The rest of them? They act out of love, I know that, but sometimes love turns into pity. And pity feels unbearable.

For all we know, Aurelia might have carved out a new life somewhere. A better life. Maybe she's happy. And yet here we are, trying to keep her alive in our own way, imagining her the way we last knew her. The way we wish she still was.

I sighed as I walked, the air around me quiet and cold. They mean well. They always do. This family has been through so much, and yet they've held onto their warmth, their happiness. But I couldn't shake the thought was all this love enough to bridge the years we'd lost with her? Could it ever be?

I sat in my room, staring at the ceiling, my thoughts circling the upcoming family game night. How was it supposed to go when I wasn't even part of this family? Sure, we shared DNA, but that's all it was just biology. There wasn't a single meaningful connection or memory tying me to this place or the people in it.

The laughter I could hear faintly from downstairs felt distant, like it belonged to a world I didn't fit into. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was an outsider, a stranger in a home that is supposed to be mine.

I glanced over at Storm, curled up on the bed beside me. His chest rose and fell in steady, peaceful rhythms, completely oblivious to the world's complexities. He didn't care about family dynamics or emotional distance. His world was simple food, warmth, and companionship.

I reached out and gently ran my hand over his soft fur, letting his calmness anchor me for a moment. "You've got it all figured out, haven't you?" I whispered, half-smiling at how unaffected he was by everything that felt so heavy to me. If only life could be as simple as his.

I didn't remember when sleep finally took me, but for once, it was peaceful a rare reprieve from the usual restless nights. That peace, however, didn't last long. I was startled awake by a soft whining right next to my ear. 

Groggily, I turned my head to the right and found Storm already staring at me, his amber eyes wide with urgency. 

"You need to go out, don't you?" I asked, my voice hoarse from sleep. 

He barked in response, a sharp and unmistakable confirmation. I couldn't help but laugh, the sound breaking through the quiet morning. 

"Alright, alright, I'm up," I said, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. Storm wagged his tail enthusiastically, clearly satisfied with his success.

I glanced at the clock. 5 a.m. Great. Too early to know if anyone else was awake and able to show me where I was supposed to take the dog.

Heading downstairs, I passed the kitchen and stopped short. Santiago and Cristián were already up, both dressed impeccably in suits, like they were heading straight to a boardroom.

"Oh, good morning, sweetheart," Santiago greeted me with a warm smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," I replied, suppressing a yawn. "Hey, would one of you mind coming with me to take this guy out for a walk?" I motioned to Storm, who was wagging his tail impatiently.

"Absolutely not," Santiago said with a grin. "We both will. Might as well get some energy in us, isn't that right, Cristián?"

"Of course," Cristián chimed in, already moving toward the door.

I sighed internally. Why do both of them have to come? One would've been fine more than fine, actually. But no, now it was going to be a full-blown group outing at the crack of dawn. Storm, on the other hand, seemed thrilled, trotting ahead eagerly, ready to lead the way.

We'd been walking for about 15 minutes, and the silence was unbearable. The kind of awkward, heavy silence that made every second feel twice as long. Santiago and Cristián were both walking beside me, their strides perfectly in sync, and every now and then, I could feel their gazes flickering toward me. 

I didn't dare look back at them, but I could feel the weight of their unspoken words hanging in the chilly morning air. Meanwhile, Storm, blissfully unaware, happily trotted along, sniffing at every bush and lamppost as if this was the best day of his life. 

Desperate to break the tension, I finally spoke up. "So... are you guys heading to work after this?" My voice sounded more uncertain than I intended, but at least it shattered the silence. 

"We actually are," Cristián answered with a warm smile. "Would you like to join us?" 

"Oh, uh... I think I'll stay," I said quickly, glancing at Storm, who was now thoroughly investigating a patch of grass. "He's still trying to settle into a routine around here, and me leaving wouldn't really help him." 

Cristián nodded thoughtfully, but I caught a flicker of something in his expression disappointment, maybe? Santiago didn't say anything, just kept walking beside me, hands in his pockets, his gaze distant. 

Storm finished his inspection and tugged on the leash, oblivious to the undercurrent of tension. I sighed inwardly.
Going to work with them sounds even more terrifying than this family game night that's supposed to happen today. The thought of spending the whole day with them, trying to fit in, makes my stomach twist. At least with the game night, I could retreat into the background and maybe escape for a while. But a whole day at work? That would feel like being trapped in a pressure cooker.

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