I spend the last few periods in the toilets trying to get my arms to stop bleeding. How could I be that stupid? I haven't cut this deep in a long time. I should just consider myself lucky that I didn't cut my vein. I silently chuckled at the thought. Lucky? Pfffft. Maybe it would've been better to cut my vein. It's not like anyone would miss me. Hell, I bet no one even noticed that I wasn't in class.
The bell goes for end of school as I pull my sleeves down. I pull my bag over my shoulder and quickly make my way to my locker to collect homework that I had just thrown in there. When I get there I look around me making sure no jocks have followed me. The coast is clear. I open my locker and literally nearly fall over at the sight. In there sat a red envelope. Is that a Valentines Day card? I grab it out and close my locker, forgetting about my homework entirely. I open the envelope and pull out a card. It was baby blue with a red heart in the middle. I opened it up and read the messy writing.
You don't know me and I don't know you, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you. I saw the cuts on your arms and it hurt me to think that someone so young and so innocent would want to do that to themselves. I don't know why you do it but just know that people do care and that you're not alone. Trust me. I know how hard it is but please put down your blade or whatever you use because I would hate to see you ruin that beautiful skin of yours even more. Happy Valentines Day.
A tear rolls down my face as I finish reading and I quickly wipe it away.
For no apparent reason I start to get angry and defensive. I know its probably because Im so used to people ignoring me and not giving a shit. I'm afraid of change, I always have been. Why did he care? Who was he to tell me what to do? He doesn't know me. He doesn't know what I've been through. Who the hell does he think he is?
I shoved the card in my bag and stormed out of the school building. I head down the street with my head down, making my way to hell, oops, I mean home.
I lay in bed thinking about Kellin. That boy hasn't left my mind since I entered music class yesterday. He intrigued me. But what made me more intrigued was the cuts on his arm. I wanted to know why. Why did he hurt himself? Why would he want to make a mark on his beautiful porcelain skin? Was he as unhappy as I was? If it's even possible, was he unhappier? Did he have the same problems I had? Were they worse? This all intrigued me. And I know it shouldn't because besides my little Valentines Day card, I haven't said a word to him. I hope he liked the card. I hope it helped, I hope I helped. Maybe I shouldn't have wrote that card for him. After all he doesn't know me and I don't know him. But maybe I'd like to. Maybe I should actually talk to him. I've got no friends anyway. It was my first day so I'm not surprised. I've got Tony and Jaime though. But they don't count because I've known them since kindergarten.
I sigh deeply. Thoughts are fucking annoying. Especially at 3 in the morning. But I can't help it, it's just the way insomnia works.
Kellin's arm was horrible, there had to be at least 100 deep cuts. And that's just on one arm, I don't even want to think about the other.
I sigh again before getting up and jumping in the shower. I may as well do something if I'm not going to sleep. I step under the stream and let the cold water wash over me. I don't know why I love cold showers so much I just do, it's kinda weird. But then again I am weird so I guess it fits. I look down at my ribs disappointed to see dark purple bruises there once again. I honestly don't blame my dad for these. I know I'm a disappointment to the family. My own mother won't look at me. Honestly I'm disgusted with myself. But that's another story for another time. I know if I start thinking about it now, I'll just upset myself even more.
A/N: Ooh mysterious. Haha joking. So what do you guys think? Don't forget to comment and vote😁
Shoutout to bvbbatmanfir for being my first and only follower. You'll be forever in my heart:')
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You Smile Brighter Than You Should (Kellic) BoyxboyFanfiction
Kellin doesn't exactly live an easy life. His Mom is an alcoholic, he self-harms and on top of all that he gets bullied daily. All Vic wants to do is help but Kellin doesn't want help. And Vic has some secrets of his own but they're all hidden behin...