Chapter #27 - I'm Sorry

A/N: Unedited, correct me if you see any mistakes! Next update at 300 votes? :) Love you dolls so much. More than what my words and mouth can express.

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"Okay you've lost me, what are you talking about Peyton?" Evan stood up from the bar stool, pushing his plate of eggs away. His fork clanked loudly against the plate as I stood up as well, making my way towards the small couch. "You were fine two seconds ago!"

I chewed at my lip, before quickly turning around, my fingers tugging at the sleeves of my hoodie. I found myself breathing a bit heavier, my breaths coming out as fast heaves. I craved the days where everything was worry free.
"I- I can't stray away from anything any more. I need to tell you everything before I continue this and I'm being selfish, and I'm trying to change and I'm trying to be a better person because I want to continue to grow with you and I can't hold it in an-"

He interrupted me, standing just a meter in front of me. "Stop babbling. What is going on?"

His eyes were so wide, innocent and fearful. I could see the depth of everything he has ever held in his eyes, the way they would blink aggressively then relax every few seconds, the way he'd start licking his lips so much and clenching his sharp jaw.

It was all too familiar.

"Please sit down," I mumbled softly, and he nodded, sitting so close to me while laying his hand on my leg. He stroked it comfortably, and the small action made my heart flutter with warmth and undivided attention. Evan never failed to give me a ridiculous amount of affection, and for him to continue to do so after being in a coma for so long, and then returning to me like nothing happened, made me stop and look at him in awe and affection. I took in the fact that this would be the last time he may ever look at me the same, or stroke my leg the same.

"Talk to me, please," he moaned, his voice coming out hoarse, as if he was about to get emotional and I took a heavy breath before looking at him, and what may be the last time I'll ever get to look at him so composed.

"You're going to hate me," I began, my voice soft. I couldn't take my eyes off of his, and he seemed to tense up in question. "I know you are, and I can't stop you."

"I could never..." his voice came out in a soft whine, making me always wheeze and choke on my own spit. I was a mess, unorganized and messy. I needed to take a breath and seriously compose myself.

"My birthday party," I sighed. "You remember that, right? You threw it for me, huge surprise, lots of people, lots of alcohol, lots of drama- as usual. I- I drank a lot, Evan."

"It was your legal birthday."

Those moments before you would say something that you knew would affect your life, were the worst moments, and the thought ran through my head, stomping all over my brain and making it physically hurt. It was like there was a churning at the top of my head, making it twist and turn in anxiety and hurt, and complete misery for being so dumb.

"Evan, I was pregnant," I wheezed.

He blinked, straightening his neck a little bit. His voice was scratchy. "Okay. Okay." I could tell he was trying his hardest to keep himself together.

I found myself looking at the floor, inspecting every little new speck of hardwood. "Evan please don't-"

"Just finish this, Peyton," his voice stern.

I whispered a small 'okay', before pausing. "I'm so sorry."

Evan leaned backed fully this time, his face lightly grimacing, as if realizing he had stubbed his toe or painfully hurt himself. It was such a physical flinch that I had been the cause of, what I conflicted upon him. It took two to create a baby, but in this case, only took or decision- and the decision had been mine.

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