Redemption

ALL I EVER WANTED IN LIFE WAS TO START OVER

I wiped the mirror until I could see myself. It'd been foggy. I might've turned the heat up too high, but I found comfort beneath the scorching water, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd been able to take a shower for as long as I wanted. So, I stayed until the water got cold, and the pain started coming back.

The woman staring back at me looked thankful, but I didn't know how to tell her sorry for all of the years of abuse I let her endure. She never deserved it. I wish I could go back to tell her everything would be okay. Even if I could feel in the pit of my stomach that it wasn't. I'd lie and tell her that anyway, hoping she'd be able to get some rest when she finally falls asleep tonight.

My fingers grazed over the bruises on my ribs, wishing I could heal them, so moving around didn't hurt as badly as it did. I wanted to ask Joey for help rewrapping me, but I could hear their laughter from downstairs, and I didn't want to interrupt them. So, I grabbed the ace bandage, and I made my way back to the bedroom.

The cool air hit my body the moment I opened the door, and I might've felt a little warmer if I chose to put my new pajamas on, but I stuck to the sports bra and sweatpants. It made me feel less like a charity case for choosing to not wear the clothes Joey gave me.

I sighed a breath of relief when I made it to the bedroom, but I found the tattooed boy sitting in the wicker chair next to my mattress, and I felt the air in my lungs disappear.

"That's a nasty injury."

I didn't know what to say. He'd been prettier up close. I could see all of his features beneath the soft glow of the overhead light. The lights in his room were orange – I couldn't see how tanned his skin had been or how dark his eyes were. I knew he had tattoos, but until he'd been within my reach, I didn't know he had so many.

"I got you pizza," he pointed to a plate on the wooden dresser. "I broke my ribs once too, so I know how difficult it is making it up and down the stairs."

It hadn't been hard for him to ignore the urge to look at my bruises. I felt like a mystery to him, and all I ever wanted in life was to start over, where nobody knew who I was. Where nobody knew my story. Where I could pretend I was somebody else.

"I can see you're not one for talking, but do you need anything?" He leaned forward. "Are you in pain? I could get some ice."

I started to shake my head when he grinned.

"You're a liar," he stood to approach me. "How bad does it hurt?"

I watched him closely with every step until the tip of his toes were almost touching mine. Just as his hand lifted from beside his thigh, I threw myself back. My feet tripped over one another and my back collided with the edge of the door. I couldn't stop the whimper falling from my lips. I anticipated the blow from the boy, but it never came, and when my eyes opened, I found him staring at me in shock.

"You're Fletcher's sister – "

I watched his lips move. He'd been saying something, but I couldn't hear him anymore. Not through the ringing in my ears. Just as I stumbled further backward, he followed me into the hallway. Reaching for me. But Fletcher grabbed his shoulder, pulling the boy away before he could.

I hurried for the bedroom and when my fingers grazed the doorknob, I used it for leverage to slam the door shut. Just as I clicked the lock, my knees buckled, and I fell to the floor, ignoring the pain, and asking myself what the fuck I had just done.

"What happened?" Fletcher's voice cut through the silence.

I clutched my chest, wishing to feel airflow through my lungs.

"I don't know!" The stranger yelled. "We were just talking and when I raised my hand, she flinched!"

A sob racked through my body as knocks erupted at my door.

"Sawyer. Open up. Please."

"Don't kick me out," I pleaded. "I didn't mean to get scared."

"No one is kicking you out."

"I'm sorry," the tears sputtered off my lips. "Please, don't kick me out. I promise I won't cause any more trouble."

"I know – "

"He did nothing wrong," I sucked in heavy breaths. "He – he was just trying to introduce himself, and I overreacted. It was my fault – I shouldn't have – "

"Breathe," he spoke into the wood that separated us. "Everything's okay. No one is in trouble. No one is being kicked out, okay? I just wanted to check on you."

"Promise?"

"I promise," he whispered into the wood. "If you need anything, my room is downstairs. Okay?"

I'm not sure how long I sat on the ground, but the light beneath the door disappeared, and no noises came from downstairs anymore. So, I stayed for a few seconds later and just when I decided to move, a piece of paper came through the small crack where the door hovered the floor.

I didn't need to grab it to see the note, but I felt the pain rushing through my chest, and I'm not sure if it's from my ribs or the guilt.

"Sorry – C"