Don't wanna be his

Chapter 34. A surpise

Sahil

These past three days have been a fucking hell. I haven't slept. I haven't eaten properly. Staying on call with her wasn't enough. Even if I don't touch her I need her near me, in front of me, close enough to have her scent in my brain. I've gone crazy in just three days. So crazy that I didn't even attend the business I had to attend but it was still taken care of and now Sahil Sharma was a mafia king. Not that I cared.

How could I attend anything when my brain constantly thought if she's alright, if she has eaten, if she's asleep or not. I know Aryan won't let anything happen to them, but still my heart has felt so weird in these past two days. I've gone into depression. It only took me three days to lose my mind completely. I felt like I was losing my sanity, and I have lost it.

I'm not even happy about becoming a mafia king. How can I be happy without my jaan? I know I've been trying to become a mafia king since forever now but it's not more important than Meri Jaan. Nothing is more important than Meri Jaan. Nothing.

I've promised myself to celebrate small if not big wins with her. She gets so happy and always tells me how proud she is of me whenever I tell her my work went well. If it melts my heart.

"Sir, what would you like?" the cashier's voice dragged me out of my thoughts. Right. I was in a mall.

I cleared my throat, forcing myself to focus.

"Some bangles in red and black. Two sets. And two sets in gold." I explained. I've been buying her something little or big in every store I've stepped into. She might have not come with me but I'll make sure to give her an experience through these gifts.

"Do you know the wrist size, sir, or is ma'am with you?"

I sighed. I wish she was here. I wish. Only if she had come with me I wouldn't have gone this crazy. But I don't mind losing my mind for her.

I lifted my hand and formed a small ball, as if grasping her delicate wrist, and showed it to him. He nodded, getting down, he began selecting the bangles. Two small boxes. One for her. One for Amaya. They both are always wearing matching stuff so I know these bangles will fit Amaya just fine. If I'm getting something for her I'll definitely get something for my sister as well.

He took out two red boxes and placed them in front of me. I ran my fingers over the gold bangles, weighing them. She'll like the design of these.

I'm not an expert at shopping for someone but I'm trying to learn for her. I know her taste, what makes her beautiful eyes light up, what makes her lips curl into that shy little smile that always fucking destroys me.

But I do get a bit stuck in makeup, but I'm working on it. Trying to see which brands she likes and which not, what's her favorite lip gloss and which not.

I buy her lip glosses just to take them off her lips–with mine. It doesn't let the product go a waste.

"These are the ones I ordered yesterday?" I asked, frowning, noticing the details I gave yesterday weren't the same on the bangles.

"No sir. I thought you wanted to see new ones" the cashier said quickly getting down and grabbing the right boxes this time.

I don't have the energy to be mad. I'm too excited to surprise my jaan. She doesn't know I'm going home today, instead of tomorrow. I can't wait to see her pretty face smiling and have her in my arms after three torturous days. I can't wait another fucking second.