Chapter XX- Sweet Emotion

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A month and a half later there's been no sign of yellow-eyes. My contact with the Winchester boys has been minimal, the only way I know they're still alive is through Bobby's occasional mention of their whereabouts. The thing that really shook me up recently was word of a terrible car accident the boys and their father had been through. Bobby told me they were fine, but I got the strange sense that he wasn't telling me the whole truth. I'd basically been on lockdown ever since I told Bobby about Azazel's "plan" for me. The only place I'd been allowed to go besides home was the bar, and even then Bobby had me call him every hour to make sure I was all right. I thought it was a little unnecessary, but it seemed to make Bobby happy.

I'd found myself growing more and more attached to the idea of going to college, even though I hadn't discussed it with anyone besides Dean. It seemed too risky as long as yellow-eyes was alive, but I think that as soon as I get the message that he's been taken out I'll apply and see if I get in. I didn't want to spend my life thinking I'd busted my ass in high school for nothing.

I'd also been doing some thinking about Sam. His "powers" he'd told me about, what did they mean? How did they add up to him being human? I'd done some digging, and nothing seemed to make sense. I had a strong feeling it had something to do with yellow-eyes, but how could he possibly do something like that?

I'm sitting in my spray-painted bedroom, looking on my laptop for reasons that this could be happening. My head had been pounding for hours, and my lack of sleep wasn't helping. I'd been getting a total of 5 hours a night, if I was lucky. Usually I'd close my eyes, and wake up two hours later to sit and stare at my walls. I'd read somewhere once that if you couldn't sleep then there was something lying on your conscience that was bothering you. I think it was this whole demon plan for me, and also Sam's whole deal with possibly being a psychic.

I shut the laptop, looking out at the dark sky filled with stars. I suddenly remember when I was little, about 5 or 6; my parents took me camping for a weekend in the mountains. We'd had terrible weather, it was humid and it rained the entire trip, but we went out hiking anyways. At night we'd come back soaked and in our bathing suits, just coming from the lake, then play some cards and talk about space. It's the happiest memory I have of all of us together, even if the trip didn't go as planned. It's funny how things work like that, you think it'll go one way but it ends another. But it still turns out to be just fine, maybe even better than expected.

I hear a rumbling engine outside, and two doors slam shut. I smile widely, running to the window to see the beautiful impala resting in Bobby's back yard. I pull on a hoodie over my messy hair, and run down the stairs with only one sock on. Standing in the book room I can see the two boys, looking as horrible as ever. I frown, seeing Dean's face conjure a fake, forced smile.

"What happened to you two?" I ask, and they both sort of hang their heads.

"It's our dad." Sam says, taking off his flannel to just leave a white t-shirt. Dean's wearing his dad's leather jacket.

"What happened to John?" I ask, gripping the stair's railing with both hands, sitting down. I know exactly what they're going to say; I can see it in their eyes.

"He's dead." Dean says, and I hold a hand over my mouth. I shut my eyes, hot tears trying to break free from my closed eyelids. When I finally open my eyes, I see Bobby standing next to the boys, his eyes glassy and gripping their shoulders.

"How did this happen?" Bobby asks, turning back to see me.

"Azazel." Sam says, hatred lacing his voice. My chest tightens, and my entire body heats up with anger.

"Where's the colt?" Bobby asks, and the boys once again hang their heads.

"We don't know." Dean sounds ashamed. I wipe my face with the back of my sleeves, standing up once I've found my composure.

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