♚17. AMBITION

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"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring

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"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." | Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn

                                            J o r d y nT a m e

    WHILE GROWING UP, I've always let people manipulate me. Whether it be my own mother or Talia, I was manipulated in ways that I look back now and I'm appalled. I was too soft and too naive. Today, I still feel as if I am those things. Maybe that's why I wanted to know so much about Alpha Lexis. I wanted to know if I could trust him. I wanted to know him inside and out. Because once I knew him, I had power. If I have power, I can't be manipulated. 

   Lexis took a risk for me. He crossed a boundary and broke down one layer of his thick walls. I knew now I could begin to trust him. I just hope he can begin to trust me. Then again, he wouldn't be able to do that unless I was willing to accept the responsibilities that came with being with him.

   Lexis' right hand roamed all over my body as I laid there on his bed with him. Nothing but a passionate kiss had taken place, but still being this close to him was a first. He touched me like I was everything, he kissed me like I was oxygen, and he took care of me like I was a queen.

"You asleep yet?" Lexis asks breaking our silence.

"No," I whisper.

"You should be." Lexis retorts. "You have school tomorrow. I want you to be able to perform well."

I turned my body around to face him. I smiled at him before watching his wondering hand. "Thank you," I tell him causing him to narrow his eyes.

"For what?" He asks.

"For tonight, for taking care of me."

Lexis' eyes darken before looking away from me. "I care about you. I know I don't always show it but I do. That's why I keep my distance at times. I'm scared if I get too close-"

"I'm close right now," I say cutting him off. "So what are you protecting me from?"

Lexis sighs. "Baby girl, it's not that simple." He explains. "You don't know me..."

I roll my eyes. "You don't know me either."

Lexis smirks. "So?" He questions.

"I'm dangerous too." I mumble.

Lexis chuckles. "I'm sure you are. Now, get some sleep. You have a long day tomorrow."

    I try closing my eyes but sleep wouldn't come. My mind kept going to different places. I needed to relax. I had to let my brain rest. I shut my eyes harder before sighing in defeat. I sit up groaning in frustration.

Lexis sits up with worry. "What? What's the matter?" He asks.

I shake my head before running a hand through my hair. "I'm not tired, are you?" I question him.

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