Ex!levi x ex!reader. Songfic

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(Warning! S U P E R ANGST. Like, just thinking about it make me cry. Get your tissues. I'm being serious here guys, don't think I'm playing.)

Song: jealous by labrinth.

I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain.

She smiled with another man. He held her hand as he held the umbrella over her with the other. She laughed while he spoke and hugged his arm.

My shirt hugged my body while I watched the two with sad eyes.

"Levi, you're going to catch a cold." Hanji said angrily, trying to shove the umbrella under me. "Go away Hanji." I snarled back trying to walk away. I heard her sigh and drop the umbrella under her. "I know you're sad. But there's nothing you can do about it." I continued to stare at her leaving figure.

"You just have to move on."

I'm jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow

I sat on the park bench trying to focus on the book. The page flipped from the wind, I growled and angrily closed the book and placed it down.

I surveyed the area and caught her, again. She sat under a tree, the wind rippling her shirt and her hair swirling to the side. She had her eyes closed and her hands on her lap with a small smile. My heart ached and my mind screamed to talk to her. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I'm afraid, too cowardly to face her. How could i? Not after what I did. I still wanted her, no, needed her. But that's selfish, she deserves more than someone like me.

Oh, I'm jealous of the wind.
cause, I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive

// "levi, I'm sorry. I really am. I just, I just can't do this anymore. I feel like it's one sided! I can't be in a relationship where I feel like I'm the only one who's in love. I feel like you're not even putting any work. I'm sorry. I really am." //

But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was Heartbreak and misery

//"levi.. I love you.".

I woke up in a jolt. I looked around the room to find myself alone. With trembling hands I smoothed out my skin. I looked down at the pillow to see the wet tears, I felt my cheek and wiped the tears away.
//

It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

// I stared down at the picture with a sad smile and dried tears. She was holding my hand up to her lips with a wide smile, I was looking at her with an emotionless expression, almost bored. I loved with picture, because her eyes glittered in it. Even though it would never catch her beauty, like the nights where I would watch her curled next to me, holding my chest and an innocent expression spread on her face. Or the mornings when I would wake up to find her looking out the window, with her legs up to her chest and a mug to her lips.

I should of taken more pictures. I should of kissed her more. Hugged her more. Made love to her more. Tell her more. Be with her more.

Love her more. //

I'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to

// curled in my bed, hugging her picture and 
Pillow with her perfume on it.

I had put her perfume on almost everything now days. I carried her picture wherever I went and held onto her for dear life.

I had stayed awake days just thinking about her. Nights I would sleep, I had dreams of her when we went on dates, made love, or when she confessed to me.

I would barely leave the house and Hanji would often try to visit but I'd continue to keep the door locked.

What was I doing? //

Oh, I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I'm jealous of the love, cause

// days I would think about her and another man were the days I would cry myself to sleep. I would turn over desks and let my house go into chaos. I didn't bother keeping it clean anymore. It was drenched with her perfume and I was happy with that. I was growing tired and skinny from nights without eating.//

As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day
Cause all I do is cry behind this smile

// " please don't leave. I love you. Please don't leave me. Please"

"Levi, I'm sorry."

"No.. Don't be sorry, please don't be sorry, don't leave me. I need you"

"Move on. You'll find someone better."

"Y/N! Y/N! don't say that! Please! I'll do anything! Don't leave me alone! I need you! Please!"

I woke up and cried, pleading her while I hugged her pillow drenched in her perfume.

"Don't leave me"//

It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way

I took one glance and watched you leave with another man.

You're happy without me

I looked back at Hanji, with tears running down my cheeks that I hopped the rain hid.

"I know."

***

You can cry now. Lol. Don't worry, it's over. Good job on going through. If you didn't cry while reading that and listening to the music, you one stone cold motherfucker.

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