Chapter 6

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"Listen," she paused, but she didn't look away. "First, I want to start by apologizing for leaving without saying goodbye. Today, I didn't think I was ever going to see you again, so I've been trying to let it go, but I really can't."

"Okay," was all I could say.

"Here's what happened," she continued. "I ran to the bathroom and sat there for about five minutes, trying to think of what happened. To be honest with you, I really don't know what I am. When Tad kissed me, I didn't want to kiss him back. I pushed him off of me and I walked away. Now that I found this new option, I needed time to think about it. I left the bathroom and saw you sitting at our table. I couldn't talk to you, not yet at least," she paused.

"That makes sense, continue."

"Alright, so I went to find my mom or Eli. When I found my mom she told me it was time to go. I wanted to say goodbye to you, but I checked our table, and you were gone. Eli then pulled me over and we went to the car. In the parking lot I saw you sitting with Valerie, but I thought that it would be awkward if I ran to say goodbye, so I just left. I feel really bad about everything. I'm so sorry." Jesse looked away and frowned. She had just spilled the ending of last night's events so quickly that it took me a minute to register.

"I'm confused. Listen, I understand that you're not completely sure of your sexuality and that I might have made you unsure of yourself. I get that maybe I made a mistake even talking to you, so would you like me to leave you alone? Or would you like to keep in touch and hang out?"

Jesse paused for a moment. She seemed to be thinking about it really hard.

"You know, I'm not going to push you. If you don't want to tell me now, I'll be up there." I pointed to where my mom was sitting. "If you want to keep in touch, swing by. If you don't, you don't need to talk to me again," I paused. "I really like you, Jesse, but if you don't like me back, that's fine. I've been through it before. I can deal with it. I can get over it. I'm strong enough."

"No. I don't need to think about it. Let's hang out right now."

I smiled. That might not mean she likes me, but it does mean she doesn't need to avoid me.

"Okay then. The lifeguard is off duty for another 40 minutes, so let's go hiking."

"Sure, that sounds like fun."

I got up, and she followed me over to where I was sitting before. That is where the path to the gazebo was. There was a main path, which was good for young kids to take. There was also a separate path that I basically made with my cousins, Harry and Wren. They're both really cool guys. Wren is my age and Harry is two years older.

"So, wanna take the main path? Or the adventurous path?"

"Where's the fun if there's no adventure?"

"Well said. However, I would just like to warn you. The path we are about to take will be awesome, a little difficult, a little slippery, and maybe a little against the rules."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

I led Jesse to the left and up a hill, away from the actual path. It was a steep upward slant, so we had to use the tree roots as steps, and the trunks and branches as handles. When I got to the top I turned around and helped her up. We followed a tiny path around until we reached an opening. It was basically just a giant rock in the ground that was mostly slanted, besides one flat spot a little higher up. To the left there was a great view of the lake and you could just barely see the edge of the raft.

"Wow, this is really cool."

"Yeah, my cousins and I used to come and hang here when we wanted to get away from everyone else. It's really nice."

I sat down on the slope part and leaned back onto my hands.

"This is only the beginning of our adventure, but it's still a part we can enjoy."

Jesse sat down next to me. Once again, she made the mistake of sitting a little too close.

What if it wasn't a mistake this time? She didn't seem uncomfortable or tense.

"So what are you doing this summer?" she asked to make conversation.

"Nothing much really," I replied. "I'm just starting a babysitting business because of all of the kids around this area. Also, I know most of the people, and they know that I am responsible."

"Well that sounds convenient."

I turned to look at her and show her I was smiling. However, like last night, she was sitting too close to me, and she was facing me as well. This time I didn't look away. I stared at her. I studied her face. Her blue-green eyes, her soft smile, her blushing cheeks. She was so close to me that I could have done it right there. I could have just leaned in, easy as that. But I couldn't push her. This wasn't my decision to make, it was hers.

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