Chapter 22

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Short chappie for now. The next few will be longer, I promise. This is simply for dramatic effect.

Ollie Pov

It'd now been four months since Takashi left, and I had been permanently hospitalized, at least until I gained weight, got out of my hellhole of depression, could breathe without a machine, promise not to put myself at any risk or possible danger, and get myself under control.

Like that was going to happen.

I couldn't do anything without being reminded of him. Everywhere I went, it seemed like he was haunting me. The only good thing to come out of this was that I wasn't allowed to be called back to the Protection Program since I was in the hospital. 

I lost freedom that I had previously taken for granted, like being able to walk and go places by myself. I had also lost the privilege to eat alone, now, if I ate, someone had to be with me and watching me, which is hella uncomfortable.

My father came in whenever he could, but being a successful business owner and high school chairman, those times were rare. When he did come in, he would tell me all about mom and him before they were forced apart, and he would tell me that he believed I could get better and back on my feet, because I am strong and his favorite (and only) daughter. 

I'd stayed in constant contact with the Host Club, with the exception of You Know Who. I started calling him that at Mitsukuni's suggestion, when he told me Takashi was like Voldemort and I couldn't say his name. 

Hikaru and Kaoru made clothes to fit me and a bedazzled hospital gown, so that at least I was dressed like a million bucks. It lifted my spirits, honestly. I felt elegant, although I know I looked like a starved monkey. I mean, technically I was, minus the 'monkey' part.

Kyouya bought me things to keep my mind occupied, to keep it from thinking of Him. It really helped.

Honey brought me sweets, cake and chocolate, cupcakes and ice cream. He'd been a huge help in the weight gain category.

Tamaki hugged and kissed me nonstop, and I felt so bad for him. My poor baby brother was so upset and concerned, I could tell I was hurting him.
It hurt me, but I felt like it wasn't something I could control.

Haruhi stayed with me. She helped the most of all, because she would talk to me about the Club's extravagant adventures, and talk about how her and Tamaki were doing. It was perfect, she would come in and hold my hand and tell me unimportant things that they would make me smile and laugh. It took my mind off of everything, and when I couldn't take my mind off of it, she'd talk to me about it.

Until one day.

One day she said, "Look, Ollie. You're my best friend. I can't stand to see you like this. You think this is going to give Him revenge for what he did? You think this is going to do anything? It's not. The only thing you're doing is hurting everyone else. So eat, drink, sleep, and get the hell out of here. I know you can. You're strong. So do it. Stop moping and start growing. What about your friends in the protection program? How do you think they feel? Miles away, the only thing they know is that their best friend is hospitalized until she gets shit under control. So do that. Get yourself under control."

It hurt me. Not what she said, but what she meant. I knew I couldn't stay like that much longer. I knew I needed to change. But I didn't admit it to myself until then. It hit me like a brick wall.

So I took my pills.
And ate more meals.
And smiled.
And laughed.
And drank my water.
And slept.
And moved on.

After four months of bitter hell, I moved on.

Not completely, but enough for right then.

I realized that there are more important things than boys who betray you.

For one, I am more important than boys, and so is my health, and the boys and girl who wouldnt dare betray or hurt me like he did.

It felt good to be myself again.

I missed me.

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