The Girl Who Chased Stars

XXVI

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FOUR DAYS LATER.

It's two o' clock in the morning.

I should be asleep, but I haven't slept since the night I last saw Skai.

I keep imagining her climbing through my window. Telling me why she left and promising to never leave again.

The thought is so stupid that I can't bear to even think about it. Skai would never promise me anything, because promises are too fragile and can be broken too easily. She could never handle a promise.

Over the weeks my sadness has just morphed into an unrealistic hope. A kind of blind idea that Skai would appear somewhere soon, because leaving me would ruin her just as much as it ruins me.

But that's all probably bullshit.

My father is gone for the night. Paris came back to visit yesterday and her and my father are spending the night with my mother. I stayed home because the last visit I had with my mother went terribly. The whole visit consisted of me bawling my eyes out about losing my girlfriend, while my now-bald, cancer ridden mother told me that everything was going to be alright.

I get up to use the restroom, and walk down the hall glumly. My reflection in the mirror is terrible. I've finally started willing myself to actually attempt to cleanse myself. I brush my teeth, and hair, Take showers and put on make-up, but it's all pointless. My face gives away my depression, and lack of caring.

When I finish in the bathroom, I head back to my room blindly. The lights are all off, and I collapse into my bed. It takes me a moment to realize that there's someone in the bed with me.

"WHAT THE FU-"

My mouth is stifled, and the familiar scent of bubblegum and cigarettes infiltrates my nose.

"Amy."

"Skai?"

I can't see her, but I know it's her. By the way she moves, and the way she leans against me.

"Amy."

An unexplained anger fuels through me, and I try to push against her. "Don't touch me." I hiss. "You leave me for weeks with no explanation, and then break into my house?! Get off!"

She only grips me tighter, and then suddenly her lips are on mine.

And she's kissing me.

And after a moment I'm kissing her back, and crying, because it feels like it's been an eternity since I've touched her like this. And her absence has done terrible things to me, so holding her and kissing her is like wrapping duct tape around a shattered glass pate.

Skai is holding me against her tightly, and I can barely move. I realize that she's crying just as bad as I am.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I had to."

Her head is buried into my shoulder blade and her words are mumbled, and barely audible.

"Skai."

"I'm sorry, i'm sorry."

"Skai."

I pull her away from me, and watch her silently.

Her hair is tangled, and her face is dirty. It looks like she hasn't had a proper shower in a week.

"I missed you so much, and-and- I was so scared-"

I can't make any sense of her rambling, so instead of listening I just pull her into my arms and hold her until her sobbing slows into quiet uneven breaths.