Scars

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Self-harm has taken over a bunch of teenagers lives. The teens who self-harm are getting called names like “emo” or “over emotional”. Being a teen who has struggled with self-harm, I have learned that self-harm is a very dangerous matter. Self-harm is a silent addiction, even though we tend to overlook it as one. There are different types of self-harm. There is the usual cutting, which is most often looked on as the only type of self-harm. But what people don’t notice, is that cutting is not the only type of self-harm. There are so many types of self-harm; you would not even begin to imagine what is considered as self-harm. But I want to talk about the number one type of self-harm. Cutting. Cutting is a big deal. To someone who doesn’t self-harm or has self-harmed in the past, they think that cutters are only cutting because they want attention, and that is true about some people who cut. But to a cutter, every cut and scar tells a story. Behind every cut and scar, there is a purpose for how it got there. Each one tells how a cutter has struggled with an emotional war between theirself, and each battle they lost. We don’t want to be like this, we don’t want to be sad all the time, and we sure don’t want to cut, but sometimes it feels like it is the only way out. We cut to feel the pain wash away, and replaced by numbness. But do you want to hear why self-harm is so addicting? It is addicting because when the numbness goes away, the pain builds up inside and we reach our breaking point, and grab the blade again. This time, urging ourselves to cut a little deeper to make the numbness last longer. That is the addicting part. I found this quote on the Internet, and I felt like it was appropriate for what I’m talking about. Self-harm is serious. One cut or a hundred, scratches or deep wounds, barely visible or scars for life. The pain that a person feels who takes a blade to their skin cannot be determined by the seriousness of their scars. People who cut kill their pain with pain. Each cut tells a story, and behind every single one of them lays more pain than someone from the outside can even begin to understand. The smallest scratch can hold hours of tears and hatred; the frustration and hopelessness cannot be measured in blood. They will see their reflection in the mirror and everyday be reminded of what they have done to themselves. They will all make excuses for wearing long sleeves or not going for a swim. They will all know both the reliefs and the regrets of this brutal addiction. Self-harm is a disease of the mind, and the amount of scars on the outside does not show the amount of suffering on the inside. I do not know who wrote that quote, but they are right. Self-harm is a disease of the mind, holding all the hatred that a person feels for themselves. When you self-harm, it becomes all you can think about, and then your life consists of thinking about cutting, cutting, and then covering up your cuts and scars. A first-aid kit, long sleeves, and lies will become your best friends. But it’s not long till summer, and people will wonder why you wear long sleeves in the hot weather. Then they slowly put two and two together, and what will happen when they find out your darkest secret? What will you tell them when they ask you about it? Self-harm damages your emotions. You become depressed all the time, but you hide it with a fake smile and fake laughter. People believe you are this happy person, but they fail to see the pain and suffering in your eyes. When someone asks you what’s wrong and if you’re okay and you tell them that nothing is wrong and that you’re fine, you watch them walk away. You want someone to ask you what’s wrong and if you’re okay, and when you say that nothing is wrong and that you’re fine and when you turn to start walking away, you want them to grab you by the arm and say no you’re not. You want someone to see through the fake smile you always put on your face. But when they don’t, you die a little more inside. You search for others like you, to let you know that you are not alone, but you die inside when you see their clear scar and cut-free wrists. But I want to let you know that you are not alone. There are others like you, and you can get help. Instead of cutting, do something that helps get your mind off of things. People say that people who self-harm are suicidal and belong in a mental hospital, but that is not true. Just because you self-harm, that does not mean that you are suicidal. Yes, people have died from cutting, but dying from cutting is usually accidental, from cutting too deep. I’ve learned that people who cut sometimes do want help. But they do not want help from a physiatrist or a therapist who knows nothing about the pain that we cutters have. Yes, it is true that they are trained in this sort of field, but do they really know both the brutal emotional and physical pain we experience? Cutters want help from people who have self-harmed. They know how we feel. I know what it’s like to feel like you are trapped in a black hole, trying to dig your way out, but you just keep falling. I know what it’s like to cry out for help, but no one hears you scream. People cut for different reasons, some cut because of things that happen at home, some cut because they are bullied at school and feel like everything those people say are true. Some people cut just for attention, which I think is very stupid. No one should cut for attention. No one should cut at all. No I am not judging you for cutting, because I am a cutter too. If you cut, try to stop, I know it is hard, but it can be done. And if you don’t cut, don’t start, because it takes over your mind. But for people who cut, know that your scars are beautiful and they make you who you are, they make you stronger. People, who don’t cut, do not make fun of people who do, because you are just making them want to cut more and you will be the reason for them wearing long sleeves and long pants. Our scars define who we are. Ever heard of the saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? That is not necessarily true. Words do hurt, they hurt more than actions. So let’s rephrase that saying to something more true. Ever heard of the saying sticks and stone may break my bones but words will only cause psychological damage? That saying is truer. Let your scars show, don’t try to hide them, I will show my scars if you want me too. Let’s all show our beautiful scars.

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