Hateful obsession

Chapter 21

To everyone who texted me "I need more. I can't wait for 2 weeks what if I die?" This one for you. Please live. Don't die :)

                                      Melissa
  "The woman. The power. Sounds like a synonyms."

Remember I talked about choices that either lead us to a beautiful paradise or, on the contrary, into a dark abyss? Well, I wasn't finished.

I was standing between the recently closed closet and two idiots, because of whom Kate ended up in this damn closet. My eyes darted around the scene, trying to find even a drop of positivity, but the fact that my heart was beating beneath Roman's thin shirt didn't help at all. The sound was rhythmic, calming, but my mind was in chaos. So strong and turbulent that I desperately wanted to jump off this floor and end up underground. Although, no. The world would lose such a perfect creation like me. I could just get rid of these idiots instead. Right.

For some reason, I kept returning to a thought that had tormented me since childhood: How much does our life depend on our own choices? Does everything really depend only on us, or are we just a product of random events and circumstances beyond our control? I often wondered how many people think they have power, only to find out that every decision was already determined by something else—other people's choices, emotions, past experiences, and even fears. Life has given me plenty of opportunities to observe how people handle their decisions.

Right now, I could guess that Jean and Lin, like some kind of adrenaline junkies, decided to take matters into their own hands and get to Kate. But first off, they should have done it quietly. Secondly, they should have dealt with it right away instead of hiding a living person in a closet. And third, is it just me, or does it seem odd that she's upside down?

My thoughts were interrupted by a sound that instantly sent a chill down my spine. The echo of cracking wood spread through the room—Roman had broken down the door. Damn. Time and my body froze when I realized that not all of my decisions were right.

If I hadn't had whiskey last night, if I hadn't slept with him *correction: probably crazy sex* and if I hadn't run away this morning, it would have been much better to just sit in New York and have tea. But there were too many ifs. The truth was that I hate following dull and boring choices and living as if I'm afraid of everything. I'm not scared. I only fear when it's advantageous.

Even my body reacts faster than my mind. I moved quickly, standing between the two wannabe spies who stood there stunned, silently watching the scene in which they clearly didn't belong, and I smiled theatrically when I saw the silhouette of my husband.

Roman burst into the room, his eyes blazing with rage. His tall figure filled the doorway, and for a moment, it seemed like his presence had sucked all the air out of the room. His gaze locked onto me, and the air was thick with unspoken tension.

"Coward," Roman hissed through gritted teeth, clenching his fists at his sides. "Running away after sex? My God. Do you think you can hide from me?"

I didn't flinch, though my pulse quickened from the deafening noise in my ears. I tried to figure out how to get them to tell me how Kate ended up in the closet, how to get what I needed from her, and how to make my husband forget about last night.

"Shhh...," I raised my hand. "Why so much fuss over sex?"
"You think sex means nothing?" he growled, his voice full of venom. He took a step toward me, his body radiating the threat of violence. "Are you smart enough to understand how badly I want to kill you right now?"

My face remained calm, although inside I felt the familiar wave of adrenaline and anger. He was once again trying to assert control over me. But I was no longer the woman I had been a few years ago.