LEMONADE { BEYNIKA }

2

Onika POV

Life has been well let me say this ..... lonely. I know what you're thinking I'm Onika Miraj with the beautiful face, nice body, business owner, and my lavish lifestyle that I should have everyone falling at my feet to be with me. The fact is people are falling at my but it's nobody that I want or need.

Ive been single for 3 years. My last relationship took a huge toll on me physically, emotionally, and mentally. I didn't think I could ever make it out of that relationship alive. I thank GOD everyday that I was free from that demon.

My ex-girlfriend Katorah wasn't always so bad. She started hanging with the wrong crowd that introduced her to the wrong lifestyle. After a while she became the product of her environment. Drugs, alcohol, fast money, guns, and lusting over plenty of women. Our small arguments turned into big arguments which then turned into her beating me unconscious at least one time a week.

I could never bring myself to leave her because she didn't have nobody. She would always say she was so apologetic about her behavior and how she was going to change. It always felt like she was until she fell right back into the same routine.

I couldn't tell anyone because I was embarrassed a successful business owner getting abused by her drugged out girlfriend. Even if I wanted to tell someone I couldn't. She made me cut all my friends and family off. She said it wasn't good for her business and if I didn't she was going to kill them. I stopped speaking to them instantly. It didn't make sense. Some of the times she was verbally abusing me. She made sure to beat in my head that " No matter how much makeup I drop for my business wouldn't help for how ugly I am" or " how pathetic I am to think that she was still sexually attracted to me".

She knocked my confidence down and made me very insecure. Looking in the mirror everyday having to use makeup to cover up the black eyes, choke marks, scratches, and busted lips. Showing up to work with shades over my eyes, turtle necks, and no voice from screaming hoping someone can come save me on many occasions.

One day she beat me so bad that my head hit the coffee table and I knocked out. I woke up to my blood being all over the house we once shared. I couldn't take it anymore.

Flashback.....

I  grabbed my phone and called the main person I've been needing.

" Nicki? " Lo said.

" Lo I... Lo I.... "

I couldn't even talk or form a damn sentence.

"Baby whats wrong? Why you sound like you been crying? " she said with her voice laced with concern.

" Lo I can't be her punching bag anymore. "

" Punching bag? Nicki whats going on "

" Lo please come meet me at this location, I'm going to explain everything to you. "

" Okay, I'm on my way "

Present Day .

It took me a while to heal from that relationship and build my relationships back with my friends and family after that. I went right to the police and I filed an restraining order on her. I moved from New York to Houston Texas. When I first moved every second I would be paranoid that she was going to come find me and kill me. Until one day I got a call from my mother saying that Katorah was murdered. The weight that I carried on my shoulder had finally vanished. I was supposed to be sad but all the hell and hurt she brought me. SHE DESERVED IT.

Ever since then I most likely turned down the whole Houston Texas. I haven't had sex since Katorah. Lauren say I need to lower my standards a little and have some fun. I don't want fun I was a commitment. With the last relationship I had I don't want anyone to think they can walk over me, cheat on me or abuse me. I want somebody to respect me from the beginning.

Again people have tried to talk to me but it wasn't no spark. I didn't get any energy of any butterflies or any feeling of this person makes me want to purse them. I just been focused on my career and self love.

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COMMENT AND VOTE!

Thoughts on Nicki relationship with Ex Katorah?

Was it right for Nicki to cut ties with family/friends because of her EX?