Suicide Sisters

21

JA'KIYA

What's my purpose?

The city sprawled beneath me, a vast tapestry of shimmering lights and muted sounds, yet all I could feel was the weight of my own thoughts pressing down like a heavy fog.

One more step and I'll fall

The skyline seemed to mock me, a reminder of the dreams I had once cradled in my heart, now obscured by the shadows of uncertainty.

"Crying cleanses the soul" I whispered, wiping away the tears that had threatened to spill over. It was a mantra I had recited too many times, a phrase that had become as familiar as the rhythm of my own heartbeat.

I was caught in a cycle of despair, where hope felt like a distant echo, barely audible above the cacophony of my self-doubt.

"Ight Pha—fuck is you doing girl?" His voice cut through my haze, sharp and clear. "I asked you to wait fa me on the bench. Why you standing on the edge?" His confusion was palpable, and I could see the concern etched across his face.

"I was only looking" I replied, my voice wavering, a flimsy veil over the truth I was reluctant to share.

"Wait for me next time." He wrapped his arms around my torso, grounding me with his presence. The kiss he pressed just under my ear sent a shiver down my spine. "Why're you cryin'?"

"No reason" I lied, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.

"Real shit, Mama, I'a ball yo lips up fa lying to my face." His tone shifted, a mixture of playful and serious. "If you don't wanna talk about it, say that, but don't lie to me."

"It's dumb—" I hesitated, caught in the web of my own emotions. The intensity of his gaze pierced through my defenses, urging me to let go of my pride. "Nothings wrong, but nothing feels right. I don't know how to make it make sense. It's driving me crazy; I wanna beat my brain."

"Ight, sit here with me while I think." He led me to the bench, his hand firm yet gentle, and pulled me onto his lap. Zed had a way of creating a cocoon of safety around us, a place where the world faded away, leaving just the two of us and the unspoken bond we shared that fuels his obsession.

As I settled against him, my vision blurred, not just from tears but from the overwhelming rush of thoughts that flooded my mind like an unrelenting river. Zed's hand rested in the middle of my lap, a steady reminder that I was not alone in this chaos.

"Try and relax fa me" he murmured, pressing a soft kiss on my shoulder. "I gotchu" His words wrapped around me like a warm blanket, and like always, I believed him.

"Can I take you to see Nia and Jayla for a lil bit? I gotta take care of something in an hour. I won't take too long. I'll have something for you when I pick you up."

"Okay" I replied, a flicker of enthusiasm igniting within me. The thought of being with my bonus family was a balm for my weary soul.

Smoke filled the air around us, a swirling dance of memories and dreams. Zed grabbed my jaw, turning my face to meet his gaze. His eyes flickered between both of mine, searching for something unspoken. He took a drag from his blunt, the smoke curling around us like an embrace.

Crazed blue eyed man wants a kiss

As he leaned in, the noise around us faded, leaving only the electric tension of our connection. Our lips met, a collision of warmth and longing, and in that moment, the chaos of my thoughts quieted.

Zed blew smoke into my mouth, and I felt the weight of my worries lift, if only for a heartbeat.

"I know you don't smoke, Phat. I ain't gon' make you" he said, his voice teasing yet gentle.