A God Amongst Wolves

32

Word Count: 1733

~Alvera

I pace back and forth in my room, trying to get a handle of myself.

I've been counting down to this day all week and I'm still overwhelmed now that the symptoms have set in again.

Heat pulses through every inch of my body, my skin inflamed, sweat dampening my clothing. I can't stop pacing, not wanting to sit with my thoughts for a single moment in case I decide to do something I will regret.

Last night was a lapse in judgement...a beautiful lapse in judgement that I'm finding hard to regret.

I should be thinking of Eldon, but when he comes to mind, so does all the litany of women he has likely entertained since he returned to the city.

Sitting down on the edge of my bed, I bury my hands into my hair, digging my fingers into my scalp until it hurts.

I didn't think it was possible, but my desire feels harder to manage this time. It's all of my body, tightening at my skin, pulsing between my legs and is at the forefront of my mind.

Venn did the right thing leaving for his cabin earlier...even if I'm sitting here, wishing he didn't.

"Come on Alvera, you're stronger than this," I growl to myself. "Pull yourself together."

Launching off the bed again, I close my eyes. Images of Venn flash into my mind, of the way he pressed me against the door, kissing me until I had no breath left in my lungs.

I wander into the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror.

My cheeks are red and splotchy and my eyes are watery. My resolve is crumbling with every second I stand here, my need for Venn so overwhelming it's crippling.

"Think of Eldon...think of whatever woman he's fucking instead of you," I hiss.

When I think of Eldon and those women, I'm thinking about revenge. I hate that he's so predictable, that he did exactly what I figured he would. It makes me want to give into these wants, to get half as much pleasure as he has been experiencing over the past month.

My knuckles pale as I grip the side of the basin. This desire is borderline painful, and I don't think I can take it much longer.

I need to see the healer Venn told me about.

Tying my hair up off my neck, I slip out my bedroom door and down the corridor. My clothing may be damp and sticky, but I don't care about the long looks some of the werewolves here give me as I pass them by.

My mind is only on one thing.

As I'm making my way down the stairs and past the main sitting room, voices drift out that make me pause. I'm not sure why, but the sudden urge to listen into their conversation overwhelms me.

"...I'm thinking I might."

"It didn't work before, what's to say it will work now?" Someone asks. A female, speaking to another. They both sound familiar — they live here too, in the far wing of the house.

"I'll make it work." There's a dangerous edge to the girl's voice. "You heard what Meredith said...he's in a vulnerable state."

I frown, leaning against the wall. For the first time since day turned to dusk and the heat set in under my skin, I'm able to think about something that's not the unbearable need for Venn.

"Which is why you probably shouldn't go there right now, Chloe. He could be volatile," the other girl responds, whose name I remember is Amber. She's one of Venn's guards.

"He's not volatile in an aggressive way," Chloe retorts. "Everyone knows she avoids him at all costs. He's got to be so sexually frustrated he'll take me."

My mouth parts and I let out a shuddering exhale. She's talking about Venn...about seducing him when he's going through this horrible thing that I'm also experiencing.

She's right about him being vulnerable. But even so, I know he wouldn't lay a hand on anyone else...I think.

Not that he should feel loyal to me. He's made it clear that being his Chosen doesn't mean we need to treat our connection like a normal relationship. He's entitled to be with whoever he wants.

Even if the thought makes my skin crawl...

"And you're okay with being used by him?" Amber asks in disbelief.

"I'm not being used by him if it's mutually beneficial." Chloe giggles a little. "This dry spell is killing me, and I need to know if he's as good in bed as everyone talks about."

Every ounce of moisture in my throat suddenly evaporates and I nearly audibly choke. Thinking about how good in bed Venn may be has my legs almost giving out from under me.

At least the thought of him with other women makes it easy to press back the onslaught of desire before it overcomes me.

"He only wants her...don't forget why this heat between them is happening in the first place," Amber brings up.

"She's a human, she's never going to satisfy him." Chloe sounds like she gets up, her voice following her as she wanders around the room. "His whole life he's going to wonder why he's been paired with a human girl who doesn't know his way of living. And she's going to have fun with him until she realises she wants a normal life, not one connected to an Alpha."

I scowl. What does she know? Even if Venn and I were romantically involved, I would be able to handle his position as Alpha...at least I think I could, anyway.

"Oh, and I bet you could handle him, huh?" Amber teases.

"It is what I was born to do."

"Well, the Moon Goddess has decided, and we should respect that."

I nod to myself. I was chosen by the Moon Goddess for a reason, and although I don't know that reason, I suspect it's a good one. I am destined to be Venn's Chosen.

"I'm not respecting anything until they actually get together," Chloe retorts, the bite in her tone making me shiver. "I heard she has a boyfriend."

"Fine, go find his cabin and offer him your body," Amber says with a dramatic sigh. "Don't wake me up when you come back and he's rejected you."

"You clearly know nothing about my seduction techniques," Chloe sings back.

Sensing that Amber is leaving the room, I back up a couple steps down the hallway so I naturally bump into her once she's out.

"Hey..." I greet, my smile so fake it makes my cheeks ache.

She jumps back a step, her bright blue eyes widening. I was probably the last person she expected to run into considering I spend most of my nights out of the manor.

"Oh shit." She brushes her hair off her face, mustering an uneasy smile. "Alvera, hello."

"You know me, huh?"