Chapter 14
Vacation
I managed to convince Seth to not reveal what she had witnessed. Sasabihin ko na lang siguro pagbalik ko. Iyon ang naging plano ko.
The day she caught us was so chaotic. Akala mo ang laki ng kasalanan ko sa kaniya! Naglihim lang naman... Pero hindi naman nagkagalitan. Nagtampo siya, pero 'di rin naman nagtagal. Nang magkaayos kami nang tuluyan, grabe ang mga chats niya sa akin.
Seth: Grabe talaga, ha! Hindi ko 'yon inexpect! Parang patay na patay rin sa'yo si Eli!
Seth: Seryoso talaga? Grabe, nauna ka pa sa akin! Lamang na lamang ka na, ha!
Seth: Kainggit naman kayo. Pero ang corny niyo. Kung kami siguro ang ganiyan, sweet tingnan.
Seth: Anyway, super proud ako sa'yo! Galing mo mangisda, 'te! Ano fishing rod mo?
Ako: Catfishing lang.
Maraming chats si Seth, at iyan ang ilan sa mga 'yon. She was so hyped and bewildered about us. Alam nilang patay na patay ako kay Eli, kaya talagang mabibigla sila sa oras na malamang boyfriend ko na siya. Boyfriend ko na ang nonchalant na 'yon.
Summer came and I had so much with my parents. Grabe ang kagalakan sa puso ko. I was so thrilled that even while we were just at home watching movies, I couldn't stop smiling genuinely. Finally, I was at home. They are my home. Not any place.
Nakasandal ako sa balikat ni Mommy habang nanonood kami ng Me Before You. Nasa gitna nila ako ni Daddy. Hawak ni Daddy ang malaking container na may lamang popcorns. Nasa theater room kami, madilim.
"Do you like his decision, Covy?" my father asked after the movie.
I cried! A lot! I didn't expect that decision from the guy. I thought... he'd choose to live for the girl. Kasi mahal niya na.
"I don't. I know I might invalidate his sufferings, but what about life? What about his parents? The girl? He left everyone! They even witnessed his death..."
The guy decided to euthanize himself. Pumayag ang mga magulang niya dahil buo na ang desisyon ng lalaki. The girl tried convincing him, peto wala talaga. It hurts so much. Sobrang lalim ng sugat sa puso ko matapos panoorin 'yon.
"It's really hard to fight for life with that kind of circumstance, Corseanne..." Mommy said softly beside me while helping me wipe my cheeks. "He had already reached his breaking point. He endured daily suffering, trying to live and survive for everyone else. Nakakapagod ang gano'n..."
I sobbed. "But..." Hindi ko naituloy dahil natanto ko na mahirap talagang lumaban at magdesisyon mabuhay sa ganoong sitwasyon. "But... what about the people he left? Are they not enough reasons to fight and stay? To find purpose in life?"
Mommy hugged me. She then kissed my head. I breathed deeply. Nasasaktan talaga ako...
"Kahit wala ng pag-asa, 'nak?" tanong ni Mommy sa akin.
I was unsure about my stand. Ayaw ko 'yong desisyon ng lalaki, pero valid din naman iyong choice niya.
Tumango ako bilang tugon. "Yes, My... As long as time allows, we should continue to fight and make the most of our lives..."
She then kissed my cheek. "You're... right, Corseanne. I love you, baby."
I hugged her. "I love you, Mom..."
Niyakap din ako ni Daddy at kwinentuhan ako tungkol sa work niya. Sa dibdib niya na ako nakatulog, sa gitna pa rin ng mga magulang ko. I could never live without them. Kaya rin siguro hindi ako sang-ayon sa desisyon ng lalaki. Kasi kung gagawin 'yon ng mahal ko sa buhay, 'di ko siguro kakayanin.
