public fear ☹ phan

one

WARNING!
this story is crappy and short, but i already cringe when i read this + i have no time to change things bc of exams :( sorry u gotta deal with the crappiness :-((
i also know that it escalates pretty fast, i agree, but as i stated above, i have no time to change the storyline or rewrite this story :( IM SO SORRY IM JUST A SMALL BOY WHO LOVES CAPRI SUNS FORGIVE ME

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Why oh why did I decide to do this? Why did I decide that this was a good idea? I hate crowds, and this is the busiest time in London. Jesus Christ I need to go home right now or I'll go crazy.

I searched my way through the crowd a little bit faster then normal. I tried to touch as less people as possible, until I bumped hardly into someone.
I fell to the ground and tears stung in my eyes.
Damn it, not now, I need to go home very quickly I have no time to apologise.

But that's not very polite is it?
Fuck off, he needs to get home quickly now. He can't show himself in this pathetic state.
Go and apologise quickly, then you go home.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking, I needed to... G-go home..." I said and I glanced at the person who I bumped into. It's a quite handsome guy I must say. He looked quite confused.

"It's okay, really. But are you alright? You seem a bit off." He helped me up and I quietly groaned. I hurt my back when I fell.

"I-I'm fine... I just needed to... Get home... Q-quickly..." I stuttered and I nervously fiddled with the arms of my sweater.

"You don't seem fine to me, let me walk you home." He said and gave me a reassuring smile.

"O-okay..." He took my hand and lead me through the huge crowd. I was still shaking but when we made it to a quiet part I slowly stopped.

"Where is your house exactly?" He asked and I smiled slightly.

"Hi I'm Dan." I introduced myself. The man seemed confused but face palmed himself when he got it.

"I'm sorry! I'm Phil." He laughed and I nervously smiled.

"I'll lead you." I said almost inaudible. He nodded and we walked next to each other.

"So, why do you need to go home this quickly?" He asked and I stiffened.

"Oh I just... Remembered I forgot to turn off my... Oven! Yes oven." I made up and he seemed to believe it but I'm not sure.

"Why are you so nervous? You keep fiddling with your sweater, and you keep looking away." He remarked and I looked at the sweater paws I was unconsciously making.

"I just don't like the outdoors." I lied.

Why do you keep fucking lying you pathetic little shit!
Leave him alone! If he wants to lie than he can! Jesus Christ.
Why do you stand up for him! You can see it yourself, can't you?

"Please stop." I whimpered.

"Did you say something?" Phil asked softly and I quickly shook my head.

"No." I said quietly. "I can walk alone from now on, thank you." I tried to walk away quickly he gently grabbed my arm, which made me wince slightly.

"No. I'm not leaving you. You don't seem okay and I want to make sure you are safe."

"Why do you care anyways?! You don't even know me!" I raised my voice and I shook my head violently.

He grabbed my hands and got on eye level with me.

"Dan, listen to me. You seem like a sweet person, and you also are not in a good enough state to walk home on your own. I am going to walk you home, and maybe stay with you until you feel better."

"I feel absolutely fine." I lied and tears stung behind my eyes.

"That's not true. Please stop lying to me." He said clear concern in his eyes. I sighed and he slowly let go of my hands.

We kept walking and subconsciously a tear rolled down my cheek.

Great you already fucked up, and you only know his name.
Stop giving him a bad feeling!
He needs to learn not to fuck everything up!

We arrived at my apartment and I stopped walking.

"Here it is." I pointed to the door and we stood in front of each other.

"Would you uhm... Mind... If I stayed with you for... Uhm... A little while...?" He asked and he looked at his feet.

"Not at all." I said quietly.