Lover's POV
I was scrolling through twitter when i saw some tweets about me, and lets say they weren't all that nice.. why are people so mean?
"lover is so stupid"
"Lover needs to lose some weight cause 😬"
"Look at those thighs, who'd want that"
"Going on a diet ain that hard bruv"
"Shes so fat"
"Lover pregnancy rumors. Click here for full article"
i scrolled and scrolled, each comment engraved in my mind as tears start building up
what did i even do to them?
I heard knocks on my door and I immediately straightened up and wiped my tears away
"Yes?" I try to sound okay
Rep peeked her head through the door
"Hey love, its time for lunch, wanna come down?"
i wanted to say yes.
but,
i wanted to look better.
"Im not that hungry reppy you go eat" i tell her
"You sure love? Are you alright?" She started walking in
"No, no im fine i promise. I swear reppy just go eat" i forcefully smiled at her and that worked because she agreed and went down to eat
I went to my bathroom and i pulled out my weighing scale, it was all covered in dust caused i havent used it in so long
Letting out a shaky breath, i stepped on it and hoped for the best.
I looked down.
fuck.
would reppy still like me if she saw me like this?
probably not.
i changed into my gym clothes and shoes to go on a run.
"Hey where ya goin?" Rep asked from the dining room
"Uh just on a run" i told her
"At this time?" She looked at me skeptically
I nodded at her without even looking at her and i think she noticed but she didn't say anything
When i left the house, i ran. Ran and ran and ran for god knows how long. It didnt matter to me, i just wanted to be better. Not fat.
I ran for longer when i suddenly got hit with a wave of dizziness. Shit. Where's my water? I didnt bring it. Stupid lover. I mentally slapped myself
I held onto a nearby tree to stable myself
Breathe in, breathe out lover.
I sit against the tree to try and calm down. Fuck i cant do anything right, i hate myself. I feel tears run down my cheeks in disappointment, in myself.
I bury my head in my hands,
Stop being such a baby lover. Rep wont like you like this. Shes amazing, and you're- you're just you. Not good enough. Not good enough for everyone.
I cried until i noticed the sun starting to set. I tried to compose myself to the best of my abilities and start running back, pushing myself even though i was at the brink of a breakdown
