Honestly all the music i try to put in chapters are always blocked so like i'll put down a song every now and then whenever i have one to play

Like Real People Do ~ Hozier

I hope this chapter doesnt turn out to be extremely cliche

*trigger warning for those who self harm*

I left school early and didn't tell Harry.

It seemed that I was trudging through concrete when I was merely walking home by myself. I wanted to hurt her, but I didn't. I'm sure it affected her emotionally, for sure. But there was a temptation inside of me that would have found the sight of her bruised and cut somewhat satisfactory. However, I wasn't that type of person.

The undying thought of my ruined future crept silently into my mind like a whisper. Failing English meant not being able to go to university unless I waited another year to resit the entire course.

That meant another year of school. And now the only sort of friends I made in the past week were going to be in university while I was still stuck here, so that meant another year of bullies.

It also meant a year without Harry.

Mrs Valentine had made my life a mess.

I entered the house quietly, hoping not to alarm anyone or anything. Thankfully, my parents had left for work. Fruit Loop past my feet quickly and ran upstairs out of sight while I angrily followed him. He was found sitting at my bed when entered with a frown, somehow something so small and innocent had pissed me off.

Frustrated, I stomped my foot. "Out."

Its scrawny body crawled from my mattress and sauntered out of my territory. Now that I was alone I made my way onto my bed and shyly hugged my knees tight as I was in the midst of rethinking my suicide plans I specifically thought through when I was sixteen.

I rocked back and forth in defeat, not finding an ounce of worry in my whole entire body. I just felt drained, both physically and emotionally. I wanted to try and knock some sense into myself.

In anger, I brought my head back onto the wall and was met with a harsh thud. "So stupid."

My head swiftly hit the wall again, and I repeated. "Stupid."

"Stupid... Stupid... Stupid." I whimpered, the pain rushing to the back of my head after more and more thumps. Then I stopped, disorientation fulfilling my consciousness as I weakly stood to my feet.

I needed a bath.

I almost tripped and fell from the dizziness that occurred and intoxicated my mind. My head was pounding, but I just wanted to feel.

Once I entered the bathroom I ran my bath and immediately stripped. I didn't bother waiting for the water to fill the tub, I had to lay down.

I lay uncomfortably in the bath, my frail arms in shivers and patterned with goosebumps. Exhausted and in pain, I relax as the hot water begins to trail across my skin in warmth. A wetness occurs from my nose, and in the midst of staring at my bath water in a daze, I realise that it was blood that fell from my face. I had a nosebleed.

I scratched myself as I lay silently into the tub, the numbness of my body preventing me from feeling emotional pain, so I decided to balance it with physical.

It only took me five minutes of scratching for my skin to tear, where the scarlet red liquid collided with the bath water and formed a toxic cloud. I had hurt myself so much that I was too tired to stop the taps, because I was slipping in and out of consciousness.

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