Distance

163 3 0
                                    

The days were growing colder, and with each one, Charlie felt the chill seep deeper into his bones. It wasn't just the weather—it was everything. His friends noticed the change in him, the way he barely spoke anymore, how he kept his head down and his shoulders hunched as if the weight of the world was pressing down on him. But no one really knew what was going on inside him, not even Nick.

Nick was the one bright spot in Charlie's life, the one person who made him feel like maybe things could be okay, even when everything else was falling apart. But lately, even that light was dimming. Charlie felt like he was losing him, and the thought terrified him.

It wasn't Nick's fault—Charlie knew that. Nick was busy with school, with rugby, with his friends. He had so much going on, so many things to think about, and Charlie didn't want to be another burden on his shoulders. But that didn't stop the ache in Charlie's chest from growing stronger every day.

It started with small things. Nick would cancel plans because he had too much homework or because he had to stay late for practice. Then, when they did hang out, Nick would be distracted, his mind elsewhere even when they were sitting right next to each other. Charlie told himself it was nothing, that Nick was just stressed, that it would pass. But deep down, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

One evening, after Nick had canceled their plans for the third time that week, Charlie found himself sitting alone in his room, staring at his phone. The message was still open on the screen, Nick's apology short and to the point. "Sorry, Charlie. Can't make it tonight. Maybe tomorrow?" Charlie had typed out a reply but couldn't bring himself to send it. What was the point? He didn't want to seem clingy or desperate, even though that's exactly how he felt.

Instead, he tossed his phone onto the bed and buried his face in his hands. He hated feeling like this, like he was slowly unraveling and there was nothing he could do to stop it. The worst part was that he couldn't even talk to Nick about it. How could he tell him that he felt like he was losing him? That every time Nick canceled plans or seemed distracted, it felt like a knife twisting in his heart?

He couldn't. So he stayed quiet, pretending everything was fine even as the distance between them grew wider.

Days turned into weeks, and the strain became too much to bear. Charlie started avoiding Nick, coming up with excuses of his own to stay away. It wasn't that he didn't want to see him—he did, desperately. But it hurt too much. Every time he saw Nick, every time he heard that easy laugh or saw that smile, it reminded him of how much things had changed, of how much he missed the way things used to be.

Nick noticed, of course. How could he not? He asked Charlie about it one afternoon as they walked home together, the tension between them thick in the air.

"Charlie, what's going on?" Nick asked, his brow furrowed with concern. "You've been so distant lately. Did I do something wrong?"

Charlie's heart twisted at the worry in Nick's voice. He wanted to tell him everything, to spill all the emotions he'd been bottling up for so long. But when he opened his mouth, the words wouldn't come. All he could manage was a weak shake of his head.

"No, Nick. It's nothing. I'm just tired, I guess."

Nick didn't look convinced, but he let it drop, his expression softening as he reached out to squeeze Charlie's hand. "You know you can talk to me, right? About anything."

Charlie forced a smile, nodding as he squeezed Nick's hand back. "I know."

But he didn't. Not really. Because every time he tried to talk, to tell Nick how he really felt, the fear would creep in. The fear that if he said the wrong thing, if he let Nick see just how broken he was inside, it would push him away for good.

So he kept it all inside, letting it fester until it became unbearable.

It finally came to a head one cold, rainy night. They were supposed to meet up at Charlie's place, but Nick was late—again. Charlie waited for him in his room, the minutes ticking by as the rain tapped against the window. He tried to keep his mind occupied, but all he could think about was the growing distance between them, the way Nick's absences were starting to feel like a pattern rather than a fluke.

By the time Nick finally arrived, Charlie was a bundle of nerves and pent-up emotions. Nick walked in, shaking off the rain and flashing Charlie that charming, lopsided smile that always used to make his heart skip a beat. But this time, it only made the ache in his chest worse.

"Sorry I'm late," Nick said, brushing a kiss on Charlie's cheek as he shrugged off his wet jacket. "Practice ran long."

Charlie nodded, but the words he had been holding back for weeks were suddenly threatening to spill out. He could feel them building in his throat, a desperate, overwhelming need to be heard.

"Nick, we need to talk," Charlie blurted out, his voice trembling. He hadn't planned to say anything, but now that the words were out, he couldn't stop them.

Nick turned to him, his smile fading as he took in the look on Charlie's face. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

Charlie hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest. He wanted to pull back, to tell Nick it was nothing, that everything was fine. But he couldn't. Not anymore.

"Do you even care anymore?" The words tumbled out before he could stop them, and the moment they did, he wished he could take them back.

Nick's eyes widened in shock. "What? Charlie, of course I care! What are you talking about?"

Charlie felt tears prick at his eyes, and he blinked them back furiously. "You're always busy, always canceling plans or showing up late. It feels like... like I'm not important to you anymore."

Nick looked stricken, like Charlie had just slapped him. "Charlie, that's not true. I've just been busy with school and rugby, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. You're the most important person in my life."

"Then why does it feel like I'm losing you?" Charlie's voice broke, and a tear slipped down his cheek before he could stop it. "I miss you, Nick. I miss us."

Nick's expression softened, and he reached out to pull Charlie into a tight embrace. But Charlie resisted, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

"I'm trying, Charlie," Nick said softly, his voice full of regret. "I'm so sorry I've been making you feel this way. I never meant to. I'm just trying to keep everything together, and I didn't realize how much I was hurting you."

Charlie's resolve crumbled, and he let Nick pull him close, burying his face in his chest as the tears finally started to fall. He wanted to believe Nick, to believe that things would get better, that they could fix this. But a part of him was still scared, still so full of doubt.

"I'm scared, Nick," Charlie whispered, his voice trembling. "I'm scared that one day, you'll wake up and realize that I'm not worth it, that you don't need me anymore."

Nick pulled back just enough to cup Charlie's face in his hands, his eyes full of love and determination. "Charlie, listen to me. You are worth it. You are everything to me. I don't care how busy I get or how stressed out I am—I'm not going anywhere. I promise you."

Charlie searched Nick's eyes, looking for any hint of doubt, but all he saw was sincerity. Slowly, the tension started to ease, and he nodded, sniffling as he wiped at his tears.

"I just... I need you, Nick," Charlie said quietly. "I need you to be here. With me."

Nick nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to Charlie's forehead. "I'm here, Charlie. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. We'll get through this together, okay?"

Charlie nodded again, finally letting himself believe it. As Nick held him close, the ache in his chest began to ease, replaced by a fragile hope. They had a lot to work through, but for the first time in weeks, Charlie felt like maybe they could. Maybe love was enough, after all.

Heartstopper One-shotsWhere stories live. Discover now