Chapter 9
Agenda
Every Monday, we had a flag rite. And every monday, I could see him glancing at me from time to time. Hindi ako nakikipagtitigan sa kaniya. I would always let him stare at me and I would always pretend that I wasn't noticing. Pero ang totoo, nararamdaman ko ang mga mata niya.
Ang labo talaga. He told me he doesn't like me. He even delivered it harshly and mercilessly to my face. Pero bakit gano'n? Why do I feel like... he likes me, and he was also interested in me. It's just that... something was pulling him from taking the risk. At ano kaya 'yon?
Sa canteen, kasama ko ang mga kaibigan ko at ilang volleyball players. May mga lalaki sa table naming mahaba. At ilang metrong kayo, nasa kabilang table din ang mga kaibigan ni Eli, at siya siyempre.
"It's not wrong to discover things. Bakit? Ayaw mo pa ba talagang magkaroon ng boyfriend?" Kesian asked me in the middle of our discussions about love and booze.
I groaned. "Hindi sa ayaw. I just couldn't find someone better," than him.
Kung meron lang akong mahanap, hindi ako magiging single, 'no! I would've taken advantage of my physical appearance... Kaso wala ngang mahanap na iba 'yong tao!
"Someone better? Better than who?" My cousin was so curious. Kaya lahat ng nasa table namin ay naging kuryoso na rin.
Seth laughed. I was nervous for a moment. I thought she would spill the tea.
"Better than Zayn Malik siguro," she said, acting like she had no idea at all.
"Zayn Malik? She isn't a fan of him! Ano na nga ulit ang mga favorite artists mo?"
I snorted while playing with my drink. "Right now I'm into The Weekend and Chase Atlantic," I said.
Tumawa si Fritz. "Wow, red flag era!"
I made a face. From The 1975 and Keshi to The Weekend and Chase Atlantic. Sa sobrang broken ko, pati music taste ko ay naapektuhan. But my two current faves were also good! Mas nakaka-relate na ako sa dalawa.
"Ano? Ayaw mo ba talaga? May irereto sana ako sa'yo, eh. Tagal ka nang gusto no'n..."
I groaned again and rolled my eyes. "Ayaw ko nga! Ang kulit naman ng lahi nito," badtrip kong sabi na ikinatawa ng ilan.
"Hindi naman ako magsusumbong kay Tita, e!"
"Eh, ayaw ko nga! May iba akong gusto!" tumaas ang boses ko kaya siguradong narinig ako mga tao sa ibat-ibang table.
They cheered.
"May iba naman pa lang gusto! Huwag nang pilitin..."
Terry laughed. "Huwag nang pilitin, mas loyal pa 'yan kay Rizal!"
"Huh?" Kumunot ang noo ni Seth. "Hindi naman loyal si Rizal. Dami no'ng babae, huh?"
"Hindi naman sa babae, kundi sa bansang Pilipinas!" palusot ni Terry at uminom sa kaniyang drink.
Nalipat din ang usapan. When I tried to gaze at their table, I was caught off guard when I saw him already waiting for my eyes. I swallowed slowly and looked away.
Hindi mo 'ko gusto pero kung umasta ka parang binabantayan mo ako o binabakuran. And if he really didn't like me, why did he remain following my accounts. He didn't unfollow me on Instagram. At sa tuwing may IG story ako, lagi siyang nauunang mag-view, o 'di kaya kung 'di una, nasa top five palagi!
Ang miserable talaga ng utak ng mga lalaki, 'no? Hindi mo maintindihan kung naduduwag lang o wala talagang gusto sa'yo, o talagang papansin lang.
Grade nine, madalas silang dumaan sa classroom namin. He would always glance inside our room and our eyes would always automatically connect like they were forced by a magnetic field. Dati umiiwas pa ako dahil sa hiya at intimidation, pero kalaunan, nasanay na kaya hindi na umiiwas.
